Matheson Bleeds Red | Letters | Salt Lake City Weekly

Matheson Bleeds Red 

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Having known Jimmy boy for just about all of his adult political life, I must interject that Matheson is not, nor has he ever been, a “Democrat.” My conjecture only.

Jimmy boy may very well be any number of things, but he is not a Democrat. Jimmy boy is your prototypical self-serving, warmongering, spineless, Utah coward. Coward by way of not having the cojones to stand up for any real Democrat values or ideals. Jimmy boy is a player—and not a very good player at that. Jimmy boy would sell you out in a New York minute and then take that cash and run for any office that he thought he might be able to steal from the people.

Granted, the Democrat Party in Utah is odd amalgam of LDS moderates and greenleaning hopefuls that in any other state would be Republican. But Matheson plays Democrat in Utah because the brown-shirt tinge of Utah Republicans leaves Jimmy boy slightly nauseous. Only slightly, and that’s mostly sad, as well.

Jimmy boy likes that Blue Dog designation without really thinking through what that might mean. Matheson is a Blue Dog only because his lungs are inordinately small and the pulmonary process can’t pump enough oxygen to his peanut-size brain. Hence, Blue Dog. Get it? Dang, I just crack me up!

Jimmy boy is an embarrassment to any progressive thinking Utahn, so let us not be disingenuous about that. If (and that’s a mighty big if) Utah Democrats had even the illusion of a spine, they’d politely ask Jimmy boy to piss off, sit down and shut up.

However, hope is brewing on the horizon. Look what the LDS Church said about Salt Lake City’s new gay ordinance. Even Sen. Chris “Byzantine” Buttars is in support. Wow-oh-wow-whee! Winds of change are a blowin’ and maybe there is hope that Utah Democrats will give Jimmy boy his exit strategy, and maybe give a sacrificial Democrat a shot at office. It’s good to have a dream. Yup. After all, Matheson is a nightmare, and nightmares can be awakened from.

Don Nash

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