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Do you have what it takes to kinda play in a marketing product, er, rock band on the slippery slope to Where Are They Now? obscurity? Did you save your Halloween costume? Can your mom give you a ride to Guitar Center this afternoon? Then you could be the new guitarist for Limp Bizkit, the Quiet Riot of the New Millennium. Fred Durst and the rest of his bandmates who weren’t smart enough to quit yet are hitting the strip malls of America in search of a replacement for the recently departed Wes Borland. Says here they’re looking for “originality” and “inventive material” ... right. Good luck, kiddies! Thursday, Jan. 17 @ Guitar Center, 5728 S. Redwood Rd., 969-9887, noon.

MACEO PARKER

You’ve got to throw some kind of freaky party to get a mix like Ani DiFranco, James Taylor and Prince to show up, which jazz-funk saxophone vet Maceo Parker did on his latest album, Dial: Maceo (What Are Records). Then again, who could turn down an offer to jam with the man who backed up legends like James Brown and George Clinton back in the day? You know, before their respective jail time and descent into jam-band purgatory (no comment as to which is worse). Parker’s touring credo is simple: “I feel it’s my duty as an artist to go as many places as I can, especially if the people want it.” Maceo Parker @ Harry O’s, 427 Main, Park City, 435-647-9494, 9:30 p.m.

NINA STOREY

An unlikely combo of Alanis, Mariah and Janis, Colorado’s Nina Storey is a stadium-voiced rock & roll chick who can’t resist trying on every musical genre in the store or cramming in 20 words where five would usually go. On her new self-titled indie CD, the fiery redhead belts over hip-grinding grooves á la Macy Gray, then makes a sharp turns into Beatles-via-Tori eclecti-pop, stuttering Destiny’s Child beats, roadhouse blues and more in the course of 15 songs. No wonder she’s still independent; this is the true-artiste stuff that gives corporate marketing hacks nightmares. Contrary to the photo, Storey will not be performing topless tonight ... as far as anyone knows. Thursday, Jan. 17 @ Cisero’s, 306 Main, Park City, 435-649-5044, 9 p.m.

DJ COLETTE

A female house DJ who learned the tricks of the turntable from the likes of Mark Farina and Derrick Carter while growing up in Chicago, DJ Colette is credited with being one of the first to sing over the records she spins—evidenced beautifully on last year’s Our Day (Nettwerk). It’s been done, but no one else combines formal operatic vocal training with on-the-fly improvised melodies and lyrics. “It’s really freeing to just improvise,” she says. “It’s just like dancing. You don’t really have a set dance routine when you go out to a club, you just feel it and you react to it.” DJ Colette @ The (Slamdance) Silvermine, 1.5 miles south of Park City, 435-655-7455, Thursday-Friday, Jan. 17-18, 9 p.m.

PHILLIPS, GRIER & FLINNER

The third name in the jazz-tinged bluegrass supergroup known as Phillips, Grier & Flinner is none other than former Salt Lake mandolin shredder Matt Flinner. The cross-pollination of bluegrass hotshots gets more complicated where Flinner’s latest solo album, Latitude (Compass), and his work with guitarist David Grier and bassist Todd Phillips meet. Phillips produces and plays, while Grier and others make up the all-star band of Latitude. The sporadic Phillips, Grier & Flinner, on the other hand, is just musicians keeping each other on their toes. “It’s not a full-time thing by any means,” Flinner told Dirty Linen. “They just kick my ass on a regular basis.” Saturday, Jan. 19 @ The Fine Arts Auditorium, University of Utah, 7:30 p.m. Tickets: 339-7664.

SUNFALL FESTIVAL,

HUDSON RIVER SCHOOL

Seems like an odd combination: Plaintive, femme-centric alt-rockers headlining over hormonal, guitar-bashing emo-boys in something called The Barn? Actually, seems like a decent way to kick off Thanksgiving Point’s Winter Concert Series (last week’s intended opener was canceled), these being two of Utah’s better bands and all. No word yet on the progress of Sunfall Festival’s ’01 record deal with Internet label Garageband.com, but their own Monday 23 remains a sweet listen. Likewise, Hudson River School’s Scenes From a Vinyl Recliner is a disc worth your pocket change, but do they set the bands up on hay bales or what? Saturday, Jan. 19 @ The Barn, Thanksgiving Point, Lehi, 7 p.m. Tickets: 325-SEAT.

MILEMARKER

“We started this band with intention to challenge ourselves and the conventions of being a rock band,” says Milemarker shouter-guitarist Dave Laney. “We wrote hardcore songs without the typical hardcore instruments—mostly keyboards and samplers.” Usually, talk like that means “pretentious crap a-comin,’” but Laney and keyboardist Roby Newton kick out the jams with gusto on the just-reissued Frigid Forms Sell (Jade Tree), slamming together new-wave synths and post-whatever guitars in what amounts to nothing less than a hardcore Human League. Besides, any band with a song title like “Internet Relay Chat With the Central Intelligence Agency” can’t be all that art-damaged. Monday, Jan. 21 @ Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 320-9887, 8:30 p.m.

BILL KIRCHEN

If you had no idea there was a Grammy category for Best Country Instrumental, join the club—then join Telecaster master and ex-Commander Cody sideman Bill Kirchen at the Dead Goat Saloon for a little celebration. His “Poultry in Motion,” from last year’s Tied to the Wheel (HighTone), is up against Allison Krauss, Asleep at the Wheel, Brad Paisley and some monster bluegrass collective featuring Vince Gill and a whole mess of Scruggs’ in the 2002 Grammy race. Sure, odds are they’ll give it to Asleep for their dusted-off cover of “Sugarfoot Rag,” but it’s kinda cool to have one of the greatest American electric guitarists alive nominated while he’s still alive, ain’t it? Wednesday, Jan. 23 @ The Dead Goat Saloon, 165 S. West Temple, 328-GOAT, 9:30 p.m.

COMING UP

Sleepytime Gorilla Museum (Urban Lounge, Jan. 24). Sylvain Sylvain with Red Planet (Kilby Court, Jan. 25). Dokken with L.A. Guns (The Ritz, Jan. 27). Cave Catt Sammy (Dead Goat Saloon, Jan. 30). North Mississippi Allstars (Harry O’s, Jan. 30). Hank Williams III (Liquid Joe’s, Jan. 30). The Samples (Xscape, Jan. 30). Chris Cagle (The Westerner, Feb. 1). SLUG 13th Anniversary Party (Xscape, Feb. 3).