Legally Pregnant | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Legally Pregnant 

Eight activities still legal for pregnant Utah women to participate in without fear of criminal prosecution for “attempted abortion.”

Pin It
Favorite
art10675widea.jpg
Eight activities still legal for pregnant Utah women to participate in without fear of criminal prosecution for “attempted abortion”:

8. Cooking, cleaning, the usual stuff they should be doing, anyway.

7. Riding new Lagoon roller coaster Mr. Toad’s Miscarriage Express.

6. Watching romantic comedies starring Jennifer Aniston—but not Jennifer Lopez.

5. Pilates, yoga, the usual stuff they say they’re doing when they’re really at Chili’s.

4. Attending Patrick Henry Caucus meetings—but not Patrick Swayze Caucus meetings.

3. Drinking 3.2 beer. It only makes you fat, and that’s not an issue anymore.

2. Attending religious services with your husband. No husband? Never mind.

1. “Mustache-Ride” Thursdays (per amendment by Rep. Carl Wimmer).

Bill Frost:

Pin It
Favorite

More by Bill Frost

  • Available Jones

    Eight great achievements by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert during eight years in office.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Get Happy!

    Happy! brings the weirdness to Syfy; Fuller House further erodes 'Merica.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Thanks for Nothin'

    Eight things you just don't want to hear from family this Thanksgiving.
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Available Jones

    Eight great achievements by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert during eight years in office.
    • Nov 29, 2017
  • Thanks for Nothin'

    Eight things you just don't want to hear from family this Thanksgiving.
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • Justice League Assemble!

    Eight team members conveniently left out of the new Justice League movie.
    • Nov 15, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Mess o' Congress

    Eight critical analyses of Utah's 3rd Congressional District candidates running to replace Jason Chaffetz.
    • Jul 26, 2017
  • Urban Scrounge

    Eight under-construction Salt Lake City apartment developments you might still be able to afford but probably not.
    • Sep 27, 2017

© 2019 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation