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Lake Effect | Tots on ’Dots 

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Playtime was subdued, quiet time was unusually quiet and punch-and-cookie time conversation at nursery schools across the valley was focused on just one thing: News that a Utah toddler had been hospitalized after an overdose of Aqua Dots.

The sticky plastic beads, being marketed ostensibly as a toy, contain a single hit—or “qua,” as it is known in playground slang—of the party drug GHB. Typical effects include drowsiness, euphoria and poor trike control.

Media accounts describe GHB as a “date-rape drug” because people have forgotten that Rohypnol is the roofie of choice, and also because a story about toddlers taking GHB isn’t, apparently, sexy enough without mention of date rape, too.

It is still unknown whether the event represents the latest in a Chinese assault on America’s youth. However, it is widely agreed that, were Aqua Dots banned, the sight of 4-year-olds gathered around playground bouncy-frogs murmuring, “Score some ’Dots, man?” would be demoralizing to U.S. citizens of any age.

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