Lake Effect | Fat Kids? Blame the Gays | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Lake Effect | Fat Kids? Blame the Gays 

Pin It
Favorite
art7274widea.jpg

nAsk homophobes why gays and lesbians should not have equal rights, and they are likely to give you any number of reasons, including:
n

Gays are a threat to traditional marriage.

n

Gays already have equal rights, and are only seeking special treatment.

n

Gays represent society’s moral decline.

n

Same-sex marriages don’t produce children. (Shh! Don’t tell them about adoption or in vitro.)

n

Indeed, a homophobe will tell you just about anything but the truth, which is:

n

I just don’t like gay people.

n

A hatred of gays is the organizing principle upon which my value system is based.

n

There’s no such thing as homophobia, you gay-loving pervert.

n

Kudos, then, to Valerie Mills of Bountiful who, during an interim session of the Legislature last week, proposed a new addition to the shopworn litany for those who suffer from the phobia that dare not speak its name.

n

Anxiety over the marriage-rights issue causes obesity in children.

n

There you have it! Gay marriages may not make children—but, apparently, they make children fat.

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Brandon Burt

Latest in News

  • Show Them the Money

    City Council members consider pay hike, worry current salary leaves out potential candidates.
    • Dec 5, 2018
  • Citizen Sensors

    Personal air-quality monitoring devices could explode in popularity once inversion season hits.
    • Nov 28, 2018
  • Blowing Smoke?

    Concerns abound on the medical cannabis compromise bill poised to pass in December.
    • Nov 21, 2018
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

© 2018 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation