Lake Effect | Fat Kids? Blame the Gays | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Lake Effect | Fat Kids? Blame the Gays 

Pin It
Favorite
art7274widea.jpg

nAsk homophobes why gays and lesbians should not have equal rights, and they are likely to give you any number of reasons, including:
n

Gays are a threat to traditional marriage.

n

Gays already have equal rights, and are only seeking special treatment.

n

Gays represent society’s moral decline.

n

Same-sex marriages don’t produce children. (Shh! Don’t tell them about adoption or in vitro.)

n

Indeed, a homophobe will tell you just about anything but the truth, which is:

n

I just don’t like gay people.

n

A hatred of gays is the organizing principle upon which my value system is based.

n

There’s no such thing as homophobia, you gay-loving pervert.

n

Kudos, then, to Valerie Mills of Bountiful who, during an interim session of the Legislature last week, proposed a new addition to the shopworn litany for those who suffer from the phobia that dare not speak its name.

n

Anxiety over the marriage-rights issue causes obesity in children.

n

There you have it! Gay marriages may not make children—but, apparently, they make children fat.

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Brandon Burt

Latest in News

  • Rebel Spirits

    A Facebook group draws a bullseye on the DABC while calling for alcohol reforms.
    • Dec 11, 2019
  • More than Heroes and Villains

    In This Land, Christopher Ketcham roams the West in search of both, and misses a lot in between.
    • Dec 4, 2019
  • Recycling Enforcers

    An inside look at who's trying to help Salt Lake City residents stay up-to-date on the recycling world's changes.
    • Nov 27, 2019
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Trib Voices

    Former Salt Lake Tribune staffers look back—and ahead.
    • May 23, 2018
  • Vexed Vet

    Desperate and facing homelessness, one vet seeks answers from local social service agency.
    • Jul 25, 2018

© 2019 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation