Jazz Love | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Jazz Love 

Eight ways for the Utah Jazz to rebuild confidence with fans.

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Eight ways for the Utah Jazz to rebuild confidence with fans:

8. New head coach Ty Corbin to consult with a hologram of Jerry Sloan Kenobi before each game.

7. Fire all current players and hire the Washington Generals, who can only be beaten by one team: The Harlem Globetrotters.

6. Fire all current players and hire the Harlem Globetrotters, who can’t only be beaten by anyone.

5. Accommodate local concealed-carry gun owners with halftime “Drop the Jazz Bear” shooting competition.

4. New sponsorships: The Nu Skin Jazz Dancers to become the Frito Lay Tater-Shakers.

3. Raise drink limit from two beers to, “Whatever it takes to blot out the fourth quarter.”

2. Allow one super fan to play power forward in every home game. First up: SLUG’s Mike Brown.

1. Rhymes with “bling” and, “Thirty years and still no ring.”

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