In Utah, You Commit a Hate Crime When... | Opinion | Salt Lake City Weekly

In Utah, You Commit a Hate Crime When... 

Smart Bomb: The completely Unnecessary News Analysis

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1—In Utah, you commit a hate crime when you smirk at a cop.
2—It could be a hate crime, in Utah, if you eat fries without fry sauce.
3—It's a hate crime to teach white kids that discrimination still exists.
4—In Utah it's a hate crime to say everyone should get vaccinated.
5—You commit a hate crime if you say flag wavers are dangerous.
6—In Utah it's a hate crime to put Jack Daniels in your Diet Coke.
7—It could be a hate crime if you tell Mike Lee to shut the F--k up.
8—You've committed a hate crime if you turn off your neighbors' sprinklers.
9—It's a hate crime in Utah if you throw red paint on the D.A.'s office.
10—And it's a hate crime to dress as Capt. Moroni and attack the Capital.

Jan. 6 Was Not Treason, They Say, Because...
Just because former President Donald Trump, for weeks, urged supporters to come to Washington D.C. because the election was stolen, doesn't make it treason. Just because Trump told a crowd of up to 40,000 people to march to the Capitol to stop the election of Joe Biden from being certified, doesn't mean he was attempting a coup. Just because he said, "If you don't fight like hell you won't have a country anymore," doesn't mean he was pushing the mob to insurrection. Of course not. The Constitution defines treason as one of two distinct, specific acts: "levying war" against the United States or "adhering to its enemies, giving them aid and comfort." But Carlton F. W. Larson, a treason scholar at U.C. Davis, told New Yorker writer Jeannie Suk Gerson that the attempt to stop certification of the election met the definition. "It's very clear that would have been seen as 'levying war'." But he does not expect the feds to file treason charges against Trump or the mob because there are too many legal complications. However, "seditious conspiracy," where two or more people conspire to overthrow or to destroy by force the government of the United States, or to levy war against it, is a much easier prosecution. Don't hold your breath.

Gov. Cox: We Mostly Haven't Hidden a Thing
Our squeaky-clean governor, Spencer Cox, wants to assuage fears that any skullduggery is afoot and there really is nothing to see here. Sure, there are a whole bunch of documents that news reporters want to see about how no-bid inside deals with friends for the Covid response cost Utah taxpayers truckloads of dough. None other than Tribune hefe Paul Huntsman has filed suit against the state, contending Gov. Clean is delaying access to public documents because ... well, just because. We already know about one boondoggle when Meds in Motion of Draper got an $800,000 no-bid contract to buy hydroxychloroquine touted by Trump that, of course, is not a treatment for Covid. Other records reveal that personal connections led state officials to let contracts to friends. As Midvale Democrat Andrew Stoddard told The Tribune: "[W]e're spending taxpayer dollars without any accountability." Like $18 million worth of gloves, gowns and masks from the vendor Future Stitch. Other no-bid contracts include a $2.75 million deal with mobile developer Twenty to create an app to track people potentially exposed to Covid. Of course, it didn't work. But don't worry because there really isn't anything to see here. And our nice governor isn't hiding a darn thing.

Postscript—Well, this was the week here at Smart Bomb when we keep up on the Apocalypse so you don't have to. It is conflagration season and it's so bad that 30,000 square miles of forest in Siberia has gone up in flames as temperatures in the Arctic have soared to100 degrees. Meanwhile, the Covid Delta variant is raging across the globe, including the U.S. where we are again up to 30,000 infections a day. But a lot of Republicans don't want to get vaccinated because QAnon says it's a plot. Well, let's just forget all about that stuff and have a good time. Nero fiddled while Rome burned and that seemed to have worked out all right. It's been a big week for Utah in the national news. Salt Lake City-based Black Rifle Coffee made The New York Times for it's great success with right-wingers. The Times also focused on the Utah Department of Natural Resources for stocking lakes with an airplane that drops fish by the hundreds from it's underbelly. And last but not least was Nathan Wayne Entrekin who dressed as Capt. Moroni for the Jan. 6 insurrection. OK, Entrekin is actually from Arizona, but we can claim him on account that Salt Lake City is the Rome of The Church with a really long name. And if that doesn't make you feel religious, what would?

Well Wilson, we're living in some pretty weird times. Maybe you and the guys in the band have a little something to capture its essence and help us through this, whatever it is:

Twas in another lifetime one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue, the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness a creature void of form
"Come in," she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm"

In a little hilltop village they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation and she gave me a lethal dose
I offered up my innocence, I got repaid with scorn
"Come in," she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm"

Well I'm living in a foreign country but I'm bound to cross the line
Beauty walks a razor's edge someday I'll make it mine
If I could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born
"Come in," she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm"

"Shelter From The Storm"—Bob Dylan

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