Hunter Killer is like a remake of
The Hunt for Red October directed by a Michael Bay wannabe who can’t even be bothered to rise to the level of giving-a-crap-if-only-in-an-awful-propagandistic-way. Newly promoted U.S. Navy sub captain Joe Glass (Gerard Butler and his grimace) is a badass renegade patriot to whom the rules don’t apply, as you might expect. Meanwhile, Russian president Definitely Not Putin (Alexander Diachenko), who is clearly a loser, has been coup’ed over by a military minister (Michael Gor) who wants to start WWIII. But never fear! Glass will rescue the Russian president on his own soil, from his most heavily-guarded naval base. America roolz! Everybody else droolz! Bad FX, painful dialogue and a scenery-chewing Gary Oldman as the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff round out the cheese. The only noticeable reaction this terrible excuse for a tense political action thriller provokes—apart from extreme boredom punctuated by moments of laugh-out-loud ridicule—is a strong desire to watch
Red October again, so as to remind oneself what real submarine suspense feels like.
By
MaryAnn Johanson