Hits & Misses | Utah Hell, The Gay Agenda & Mail-Order Missiles | Hits & Misses | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Hits & Misses | Utah Hell, The Gay Agenda & Mail-Order Missiles 

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Hot, Hot Heat
When you said living in Utah was hell, you thought you were joking. But it turns out the Beehive State is at the epicenter, the lowest ring so to speak, of global warming. According to a five-year study just released by the Natural Resources Defense Council and the Rocky Mountain Climate Organization, Utah is heating up quicker than anywhere else in the world. Temperatures here increased 2.1 degrees during the past five years, more than doubling average global temperature hikes during the period. Is it punishment from the gods for eight years of solid support for the global-warming-denying Bush administration? The only part of the globe experiencing bigger temperature hikes was Arizona—which, coincidentally or not, is also a big GOP supporter.

Gay Agenda Marches On
When American Fork High School administrators got wind that a presentation from anti-gay wackos had wormed its way onto the PTSA meeting agenda, school leaders did the right thing and canceled. It’s not just that the Pleasant Grove group’s propaganda is antiquated—it includes all the usual topics such as conversion “therapy,” gay “recruiters” in the schools, and a handy quiz to “find out if you have been conditioned to accept sexual revolutionist ideologies.” Another problem is the group’s LDS adherents are all about getting religion into public school classrooms, still illegal, even in Utah. When your views are too kooky for the American Fork PTA, it’s time to pack it in.

Shipping Slip
Can’t tell helicopter batteries from ballistic missile fuses? No worries. Just throw whatever it is in a box and ship it. An explanation for how Minuteman missile parts were mistakenly sent from Hill Air Force Base to Taiwan waits for completion of an investigation. What is known is that while the “helicopter batteries” boxes were shipped in 2006, it took the U.S. military until last month to figure out the mistake—after the Taiwanese called to ask where their helicopter batteries were. China, always nervous about U.S.-Taiwan military cooperation, is pissed. Understandably, Chinese authorities have trouble believing the mistaken missile parts shipment was really a mistake. Before another mistake causes a war, someone at Hill may want to re-evaluate its inventory-control system.

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More by Ted McDonough

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