Globetrotting Utah AG Sean Reyes goes on a wild hog hunt | Opinion | Salt Lake City Weekly

Globetrotting Utah AG Sean Reyes goes on a wild hog hunt 

Smart Bomb: The completely unnecessary news analysis

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You just can't keep a good man down—especially if that man is Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes. In 2022 alone, he spent $491,206 on travel, according to Salt Lake Tribune ace Tony Semerad.

Just imagine the frequent flyer miles—a bonanza on top of a real chill gig. Good work if you can get it.

The cash came from Reyes’ campaign account, even though he was not up for reelection in 2022. His contributors must be digging it. And hey, we need an attorney general who gets around, going on luxury wild hog hunts in Texas, World Cup soccer in Qatar, beaching it in Acapulco and anywhere he can build contacts and connections with important people—especially on hog hunts.

Reyes has been on a roll lately. His links to Tim Ballard—formerly of Operation Underground Railroad, an anti-child-trafficking organization—got him some bad ink when five women filed suit against Ballard alleging sexual misconduct. Ballard denies the allegations. They also say that Reyes intimidated people who complained about Ballard's actions. Reyes denies that.

Some frowny faces on Capitol Hill wonder how Reyes finds time for his real job. It's the internet, stupid. The A.G. can easily work on his laptop at the soccer matches or on the beach. Don't they know big shots can walk and chew gum at the same time?

The First Thanksgiving and a Day of Mourning
Well Wilson, your favorite holiday is coming right up. No stupid gifts, no damn wrapping paper, just good food and plenty of it.

We all learned the story in elementary school. The Pilgrims came to the new world seeking religious freedom. As winter came on in 1621, they got hungry and depressed.

But then some nice red people showed up with feathers in their hair carrying big turkeys; they brought mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, dressing and gravy and pumpkin pies and everyone had a great time. Later on, they watched a little football. Plus, there were plenty of leftovers for turkey sandwiches.

Well, there is no Santa Claus and Native Americans think our story of the first Thanksgiving is a lot of bull. T-Day for many American Indians is a day of mourning. It's a reminder of the theft of indigenous lands, the killing of millions of indigenous people and a relentless assault on their native culture.

Here's something you didn't know, Wilson—the day after Thanksgiving is Native American Heritage Day. It celebrates “Native American spirituality and emphasizes gratitude for creation, care for the environment and recognition of the human need for communion with nature,” according to the publication Native Hope. Ever wonder if us white Americans could learn something from the first Americans? Nah.

Very Presidential: Haley is Toast, Ramaswamy is Scum
Nikki Haley has cut her own throat. Yep, the one-time South Carolina governor and former U.S. ambassador to the U. N. is toast.

According to Fox News pundit Laura Ingraham, Haley's performance in the last Republican presidential “debate” (read: sideshow) got plaudits from The New York Times and Politico and, therefore, she is not right (read: too sane) for the Trump GOP.

“Politically this is suicide for Nikki Haley,” the blonde gutter-mouth blabbed. If you're not completely whacked-out, you don't cut it in MAGA-world.

Meanwhile, Vivek Ramaswamy, the self-styled genius businessman, commanded the debate stage by calling Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskyy a “Nazi.” WTF. It may be a popular epithet with MAGA folks but Zelenskyy is Jewish. Perfect timing coming on the heels of the slaughter of some 1,400 Jews by Hamas.

Vivek then ripped Haley for her daughter's use of TikTok, aka Satan's video app that Republicans say turns people into communists or Democrats. To which Haley responded: “You're just scum.” It was all quite presidential.

The staff here at Smart Bomb still can't figure out what the sideshow is about—Trump, who doesn't participate in the “debates,” is a shoo-in for the GOP nomination. And you thought the Dems were dumb.

Postscript—That's going to do it for another strange week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of the polls so you don't have to. Every day it seems there is a new avalanche of polling. Some of these polls have Trump beating Biden even though the Big Orange One has been indicted on more felonies than John Gotti.

You're right Wilson, a year out from the election these polls are meaningless, so why do they keep doing them? Wouldn't it save a lot of time and money if each political party just hired a psychic medium to peer into the future? It could be more accurate, too.

As an aside, Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel says it matters not whether the former president gets convicted in one or all of his four criminal trials. She added that everyone knows there is a two-tiered justice system: One for Trump and other fat people with orange skin and hair and one for everybody else.

For the MAGA folks, Trump is a Christ-like figure who just happens to grope women, get it on with porn stars, cheat on his taxes and suck up to Vladimir “Beelzebub” Putin. He's never committed a crime in his life. But if he has, so what?

Sorry Wilson, we know the band is sick and tired of hearing about Trump. Wouldn't it be great to live in a Trump-free world? Dream on.

Well Wilson, maybe the band should do a little something for Sean “Frequent Flyer” Reyes. The guy has run into a stretch of bad luck. It's going so poorly that even The Salt Lake Tribune editorial board call him “an embarrassment.” The worm has turned for Sean, these days if he didn't have bad luck he wouldn't have any at all. So hit it, Wilson:

You must leave now, take what you need, you think will last
But whatever you wish to keep, you better grab it fast
Yonder stands your orphan with his gun
Crying like a fire in the sun
Look out the saints are comin' through
And it's all over now, Baby Blue

The highway is for gamblers, better use your sense
Take what you have gathered from coincidence
The empty-handed painter from your streets
Is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets
The sky, too, is folding under you
And it's all over now, Baby Blue

All your seasick sailors, they are rowing home
Your empty-handed armies are going home
Your lover who just walked out the door
Has taken all his blankets from the floor
The carpet, too, is moving under you
And it's all over now, Baby Blue

Leave your stepping stones behind, there something a-calls for you
Forget the dead you've left, they will not follow you
The vagabond who's rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore
Strike another match, go start anew
And it's all over now, Baby Blue
“It's All Over Now Baby Blue”—Bob Dylan

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