Gimme a Dolla! | Rant Control | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Gimme a Dolla! 

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Believe it or not, there have actually been some comments made on that relate in no way to the Main Street Plaza KissyGate—not a hell of a lot, but some.

The responses to “Act Like Adults, Boozers” [Letters, July 16] were predictably smartass, mostly because author Robert Grant asked that alcohol-imbibers celebrating their newfound state of “adulthood” in Utah “stop walking down the street late at night screaming profanity at the top of your lungs and otherwise making smartass comments about Mormons.” Pretty much an open invitation.

After a few responses relating directly to booze, commenter Hayduke chimed in with this pitch-perfect plea for change—not Barack Obama’s Change, but the hackneyed story all of us who work downtown hear about 35 times a day:

 “Got any spare change, mister? See, I’m, uh, on my way to visit my father in Colorado. He’s, uh, dying, and well, I’d like to say goodbye. But my car broke down here in SLC and I’ve been stuck for days. That’s a really nice tie you have; looks expensive. So, anyway, any change would be good but a couple dollars would be better. Got any spare dollars? See, my dog was impounded this morning while I was sleeping one off ... er ... taking a nap in the park. … Apparently, he was leering at women as they walked by. I understand he’d even looked up a couple skirts. But, shoot, who doesn’t do that? He does that kind of stuff, my dog. Horny bastard. But, he’s just the sweetest little guy. I call him Taco. Hey, that reminds me, got any spare change for a taco?”
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