It's the most wonderful time of the year! In opposite land. Seriously, who among us actually likes Christmas shopping? 'Tis the season for gift cards you bought at the grocery store check-out lane as an afterthought, and semi-new objects lying around the house you're sure you still have the original box for somewhere. Tie a curly ribbon around those Isotoners, et voilà.
If you're like me, the joy of Christmas shopping past has given way to a dreadful chain-dragging task that sees you driving around town in a stupor only to be stumped time after time by what to give that one hard-to-shop-for person. This year, City Weekly contributors have taken the guesswork out of it by assembling a comprehensive list of ideas suitable for 10 different personalities.
I see you rolling your (snake) eyes, Oogie Boogie. Clearly this is just a way of appeasing advertisers, right? Wrong. No amount of chocolate coins can get you on this nice list.
Can't find what you want at Macy's, Mr. Kringle? Well it just so happens that Salt Lake City has an array of specialty retailers that'll be pleased as (spiced) punch to help you find something unique that'll stuff a stocking just right.
Put the cookie-cutter scarf set down. In these pages you'll learn how to up your Secret Santa game with fresh gift ideas for your co-workers. You'll also be able to wrap up a slice of nostalgia for former Beehive dwellers and keep noses Rudolph red with some boozy suggestions.
Yes, Virginia, there is overdraft protection available on your debit card. Luckily for you, our list for cheapskates packs a wallop with items priced at 10 bucks or less. We also set a festive table for the foodie and prop up a blank canvas for the art snob in your life. Music lovers, we give some love to you, too, because even auricles need a hand. And while our cynical journalist hearts might be two sizes too small, we haven't forgotten about the wee ones.
What's that, kid? You want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200 shot-range model air rifle? I respect your Second Amendment rights, but you'll shoot your eye out. Settle for a sampler of America's great outdoors instead with a National Parks Pass. Finally, no list would be complete without a few ideas for those you hate. That'll silent their night, alright.
Seriously, I could go on all day with these references.
So take it from someone whose beard doesn't have one of those things that goes over his ears: These items are sure to keep that special someone on your list rockin' around the Christmas tree year-round. Though, if they don't kick that thing to the curb by New Year's, you should really consider expanding your social circle.
—Enrique Limón
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