Get ’Em While They Last 

Curses, Foiled Again
A woman who police said tried to rob two credit unions in Memphis, Tenn., fled empty-handed both times because tellers couldn’t figure out what she wanted. The first attempt ended with the frustrated robber throwing her holdup note at the teller and running away after the teller couldn’t understand her mumbling. A few hours later, a teller at the second credit union kept asking the woman fumbling in her purse what she wanted. Finally, she produced a note. When she also pulled a gun, the teller left. The woman ran outside, tripped and fell, dropped her gun, then got into a car and drove off. (The Commercial Appeal)

• Alerted by neighbors that someone was breaking into their car, a couple in Lake City, Fla., used their entry remote control to lock the thief inside. “So every time he tried to get out of the car, the owners just kept hitting the lock button on their key fob, and eventually he gave up trying to get out,” Columbia County sheriff’s Sgt. Ed Seifert said after Travis James Neeley, 19, was arrested. (The Gainesville Sun)

Get ’Em While They Last
The Hump, a Japanese restaurant in Santa Monica, Calif., known for its exotic sushi, admitted serving whale meat after federal prosecutors filed a criminal complaint against the restaurant and its chef, Kiyoshiro Yamamoto. The action followed an investigation by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the California Department of Fish and Game and the federal Customs and Border Protection agency, prompted by the team behind the Oscar-winning documentary about dolphin hunting, “The Cove.” “Someone should not be able to walk into a restaurant and order a plate of an endangered species,” U.S. attorney Andre Birotte Jr. said. (The New York Times)

• Canada’s Parliament reacted to a European Union ban on seal products by serving seal hors d’oeuvres and main dishes at its restaurant. Two dozen lawmakers attended a luncheon to eat seal and listen to speeches endorsing Canada’s annual seal hunt. “This support begins on the plates of Canadians,” federal Fisheries Minister Gail Shea proclaimed while dining on medallions of double-smoked, bacon wrap seal loin in a port reduction. (Reuters)

The Last Straw
Police in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., said Johnny Dossey, 43, reacted to a $70 water bill by dousing his mobile home with gasoline and then setting it on fire. A few minutes later, the home exploded. Neighbor Luis Alvarez, who said he heard Dossey arguing with his father about the bill, pointed out, “I guess he got fed up with it, and that’s the only way he saw out of it.” (Miami Herald)

Self-Service Follies
A 46-year-old man was arrested for drunk driving in South Bend, Ind., after other motorists reported their vehicles were struck by a hose from a gasoline pump dangling from the gas tank of his truck. An employee at the gas station said the man bought gas with a credit card but then drove off with the hose still attached to the vehicle. (South Bend Tribune)

• Faith-Based Initiative Selective brain damage might influence spiritual and religious attitudes, according to an Italian study of patients before and after surgery for brain tumors. Researchers interested in linking brain activity and spirituality focused specifically on the personality trait called self-transcendence, which is considered a measure of spiritual feeling, thinking and behavior. Reporting in the journal Neuron, the researchers said they hoped their findings could lead to new strategies for treating some forms of mental illness. (Science Daily)

Kicks Just Keep Getting Harder to Find
After a mother caught Ralph Conone, 68, hitting her two boys, ages 6 and 7, at a Walmart store in Columbus, Ohio, he admitted to police that he’d been punching children on the backs of their heads with his keys in his fist for months. “He stated that he does this because of the excitement of being able to do it and get away with it with the parents right there,” police Sgt. John Hurst said. Conone explained that he would wait until a parent wandered briefly out of sight of a child before striking the child with his keys between his fingers. When the child cried out, Conone would slip away unnoticed. (The Columbus Dispatch)

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.