Freedom Follies 

Curses, Foiled Again
After an employee confronted two burglars inside a business in Mulga, Ala., he chased them to a pontoon boat on a trailer hooked up to a pickup truck they had parked down the road. Then one of the suspects opened fire with a shotgun. The employee called sheriff's deputies, who said suspects Coy Michael Falls, 55, and Austin Blackwell, 19, yelled obscenities at them but were taken into custody. "Who commits a burglary while towing a pontoon boat?" Chief Deputy Randy Christian said. "Definitely a clown alert here." (AL.com)

• State police charged Gregory Louis Douglas, 40, with passing counterfeit $20 bills at a yard sale in Rayburn, Pa. The sale was run by Amy Miller, an experienced bank teller, who recognized the bills were phony. "She deals with money every day," Trooper Terry Geibel said after police found uncut sheets of counterfeit $20 bills in Douglas's car. (Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)

Freedom Follies
Eight in 10 Americans believe the public should be concerned about the government's monitoring phone calls and Internet communications, according to a report by the Pew Research Center. More than 90 percent of those surveyed agreed or strongly agreed that they've lost control over how their personal data are collected and used by companies. But 55 percent agreed that they're willing to share some information in exchange for free online services. (The Washington Post)

Chairman Mayo
Food conglomerate Unilever, the maker of Hellmann's mayonnaise, is suing San Francisco-based Hampton Creek, claiming its eggless sandwich spread Just Mayo implies it's mayonnaise but doesn't meet the Food & Drug Administration's definition, which states mayonnaise must include "egg-yolk containing ingredients." Just Mayo uses Canadian yellow peas instead of eggs. Unilever's suit also contends Just Mayo has "caused consumer deception and serious, irreparable harm to Unilever" and the mayonnaise industry in general. Hellmann's (labeled Best Foods on the West Coast) holds 45 percent of the $2 billion U.S. mayonnaise market. But Hampton Creek counts Bill Gates among its backers and in recent months has expanded to more than 20,000 Wal-Mart, Costco and other stores. Hampton Creek founder Josh Tetrick said he welcomed the suit to expand the company's profile and to further "penetrate the places where better-for-you food hasn't gone before." (The Washington Post)

• Shortly after filing its lawsuit against Hampton Creek, Unilever revised its own website to change some product descriptions from "mayonnaise" to "mayonnaise dressing" because they don't have enough vegetable oil to qualify. (Associated Press)

Carrying On
Venice is banning tourists from using roller suitcases, which officials said make too much noise being wheeled across the city's historic bridges and keep residents awake. To avoid the 500-euro ($625) fine, visitors will need suitcases with inflatable tires, although city official Maurizio Dorigo admitted they don't yet exist. He expressed hope that a company will design and sell them by next May, when the ban takes effect. (Britain's The Express)

Second-Amendment Follies
A 45-year-old man died after shooting himself in the head and neck while hunting geese, according to police in West Windsor, N.J. "Although incredibly tragic, it is believed that the incident was solely an accident," Lt. Matthew Kemp said. (Times of Trenton)

• Police said Dennis Eugene Emery, 57, accidentally shot himself in the face at his home in Pinellas Park, Fla. According to the report, Emery was arguing with his wife when he got a gun and threatened to shoot one of the family dogs. He pulled back the gun's hammer as if he were going to fire. He then started to release it to a safe position while pointing the gun at his face, at which point the gun discharged. (The St. Petersburg Tribune)

• Becca Campbell, 26, died after she accidentally shot herself in the head with a gun she bought for protection in anticipation of violent protests in Ferguson, Mo., while a grand jury decided whether to indict Michael Brown's killer. The St. Louis woman's 33-year-old boyfriend told police Campbell was jokingly waving the weapon around in his car, saying she was ready for Ferguson, when she pointed it at him. He swerved trying to duck and rear-ended another car, causing the gun to fire. (CNN)

• Christa Engles, 26, died after her 3-year-old son accidentally shot her in the head with a 9 mm semiautomatic handgun he found on a table in the living room, according to police in Tulsa, Okla. Child specialists who interviewed the boy "confirmed what the evidence led investigators to assume," police Sgt. Dave Walker said, noting the boy repeatedly told officers, "Mommy shot." (Tulsa World)

Tax Dollars at Work
Despite recent scandals and budget and workforce cuts at the Internal Revenue Service, Commissioner John Koskinen announced the agency is awarding millions of dollars in bonuses to "long-suffering staffers," including those who're delinquent in paying their own taxes. The IRS's inspector general reported in April that 1,146 employees who had "tax compliance problems" a few years ago were handed bonuses totaling more than $1 million. "It's no wonder the American people find it hard to believe the IRS needs more money when the agency fails to collect back taxes from their own employees and instead rewards them with bonuses," said Sen. Orrin G. Hatch, R-Utah. (The Washington Times)

Drone On
Student researchers from Olin College of Engineering in Needham, Mass., have figured out a better way to measure stress in whales than chasing them with motorboats and 15-foot poles equipped with sensors. They dispatch a drone to hover directly over the animals' blowhole and collect mucus samples from the spray. The researchers tested the method by attaching a sterilized surgical sponge to the drone to harvest pseudo-snot ejected from a fake whale: a catamaran fitted with sensors that measured what a real whale would feel and hear while being followed by the drone, which the students dubbed Snot Bot. (The Boston Globe)

So Long, and Thanks for All the Kimchi
South Koreans are headed for extinction by the year 2750, according to a parliamentary study commissioned by the New Politics Alliance for Democracy party. Its forecasts are based on South Korea's critically low birth rate of 1.19 children per woman, attributed to 1980s government campaigns to restrict family size. The study suggests the southern port city of Busan, which has one of the country's most rapidly aging populations, will be the first to empty after its last resident is born in 2413. (Britain's The Independent)

Compiled from mainstream news sources by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.