Free Will Astrology | July 10-16 

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
In July 1969, astronaut Buzz Aldrin was the second human to walk on the moon. That was the good news. The bad news was that as he carried out his heroic feat, he wet his pants. He testifies to the event in the documentary film In the Shadow of the Moon. I suspect you may soon have a comparable experience, Libra: experiencing a little boo-boo or no-no while you’re riding high. Though it may make you feel vulnerable at the time, it’s trivial in the big scheme of things and isn’t likely to stick with you. How many people even know that Aldrin accidentally peed at his moment of glory?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
About nine million people see this column regularly. On average, nine of them experience a one-in-a-million coincidence each week. In the next seven days, however, I believe as many as 90,000 of my readers will have that kind of mind-blowing synchronicity, and most of them will be Scorpios. That’s because your tribe is in a phase when happy accidents and miraculous flukes are practically unavoidable. Even if you don’t brush up against a one-in-a-million stroke of lucky fate, I bet you’ll be touched by a one-in-a-thousand event.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
“Dear Flow Meister: I’ve been surfing the tidal waves of emotion for many days, and am proud to say I haven’t wiped out once (though here were two near-misses). But to tell you the truth, I don’t know how much longer I can perform this balancing act. How much stamina can one person have? Do you psychically see signs that I’ll reach shore anytime soon? —Wobbly Surfer.” Dear Wobbly: I predict an end to your trials by Wednesday, July 23—or earlier if you, too, become a flow meister.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
“Ice cream is both innocent and erotic,” writes Klintron on Technoccult.com. “Coffee promises to be both stimulating and relaxing.” These examples illustrate the idea of “paradessence,” or paradoxical essence, which was developed by Alex Shakar in his novel The Savage Girl. I suspect that you’ll specialize in paradessence in the coming days, Capricorn. Will that make you feel tormented by crazy-making contradictions or will it excite you with an expanding sense of complex possibilities? It will be largely up to your intentions. Which would you prefer?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It’s Wallow in Your Envy and Jealousy Week. During this holiday, you may in good conscience explore your covetous resentments and plumb the depths of your longing for what others have attained. Here’s the payoff: Giving yourself this perverse pleasure should keep you relatively free from envy and jealousy for the next three months. To get yourself in the mood, read this excerpt from Dave Morrison’s poem “Jealous”: “I am jealous of those who do stupid things and feel no shame. I am jealous of the dead for their reduced workload, jealous of newborn babies for their clean records. I’m jealous of those older than me for what they know, and those younger than me for what they don’t. I am jealous of dogs who don’t think about living, or dying, they just do.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
The world’s oldest penises are 400 million years old. Discovered in Scotland in 2001, they’re part of the fossilized remains of an arachnid species known as daddy longlegs. In reporting their find, the paleontologists marveled that the reproductive organ was two-thirds the size of the entire creature. Let’s make this ancient genital a power symbol for you, Pisces. (If you prefer, you can focus on the 400-million-year-old daddy longlegs’ vaginas that were also found.) I hope it inspires you to think back to the time when your sexual desires first began to stir. The future of your intimate relationships will benefit from you reconnecting to the primal purity of your original erotic urges.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.