AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
“All
these years I’ve been searching for an impossible love,” said French
writer Marguerite Duras late in her life. The novels and films she
created reflect that feeling. Her fictional characters are often engaged
in obsessive quests for an ideal romance that would allow them to
express their passion perfectly and fulfill their longing completely. In
the meantime, their actual relationships in the real world suffer, even
as their starry-eyed aspirations remain forever frustrated. I invite
you, Aquarius, to celebrate this Valentine season by taking a vow of
renunciation. Summon the courage to forswear Duras’s doomed approach to
love.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
To
avoid getting hacked, computer tech experts advise you to choose
strong, hard-to-guess passwords for your online accounts. Among the
worst choices to protect your security are “123456,” “iloveyou,”
“qwerty,” and, of course, “password.” Judging by the current
astrological omens, Pisces, I’m guessing that you should have a similar
approach to your whole life in the coming days. It’s important that you
be picky about who you allow into your heart, mind, and soul. Make sure
that only the most trustworthy and sensitive people can gain access.
Your metaphorical password might be something like this:
m*y#s@t&e?r%y.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Afrikaner
author Laurens van der Post told a story about a conversation between
psychologist Carl Jung and Ochwiay Biano, a Pueblo Indian chief. Jung
asked Biano to offer his views about white people. “White people must be
crazy because they think with their heads,” said the chief, “and it is
well-known that only crazy people do that.” Jung asked him what the
alternative was. Biano said that his people think with their hearts.
That’s your assignment for the week ahead, Aries: to think with your
heart—especially when it comes to love. For extra credit, you should
feel with your head—especially when it comes to love. Happy Valentine
Daze, Aries!
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Have
you ever sent a torrent of smart and elegant love messages to a person
you wanted to get closer to? Now would be an excellent time to try a
stunt like that. Have you ever scoured the depths of your own psyche in
search of any unconscious attitudes or bad habits that might be
obstructing your ability to enjoy the kind of intimacy you long for? I
highly recommend such a project right now. Have you ever embarked on a
crusade to make yourself even more interesting and exciting than you
already are? Do it now. Raise your irresistibility! Happy Valentine
Daze, Taurus!
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Happy
Valentine Daze, Gemini! After careful meditation about what messages
might purify and supercharge your love life, I decided to offer
suggestions about what not to do. To that end, I’ll quote some
lines from Kim Addonizio’s poem “Forms of Love.” Please don’t speak any
of them out loud, or even get yourself into a position where it makes
sense to say them. 1. “I love how emotionally unavailable you are.” 2.
“I love you and feel a powerful spiritual connection to you, even though
we’ve never met.” 3. “I love your pain, it’s so competitive.” 4. “I
love you as long as you love me back.” 5. “I love you when you’re not
getting drunk and stupid.” 6. “I love you but I’m married.” 7. “I love
it when you tie me up with ropes using the knots you learned in Boy
Scouts, and when you do the stoned Dennis Hopper rap from Apocalypse Now!”
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
This
Valentine season, I suggest you consider trying an experiment like
this: Go to the soulful ally you want to be closer to and take off at
least some of your masks. Drop your pretenses, too. Shed your emotional
armor and do without your psychological crutches. Take a chance on
getting as psychologically and spiritually naked as you have ever dared.
Are you brave enough to reveal the core truths about yourself that lie
beneath the convenient truths and the expired truths and the pretend
truths?
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
“Sex
is a substitute for God,” says writer Cathryn Michon. “When we desire
another human being sexually, we are really only trying to fill our
longing for ecstasy and union with the infinite.” I agree with her, and I
think you might, too, after this week. Erotic encounters will have an
even better chance than usual of connecting you to the Sublime Cosmic
YumYum. If you can’t find a worthy collaborator to help you accomplish
this miraculous feat, just fantasize about one. You need and deserve
spiritual rapture. Happy Valentine Daze, Leo!
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Lately
you’ve been doing exemplary work on your relationship with yourself,
Virgo. You have half-convinced your inner critic to shut the frack up
unless it has a truly important piece of wisdom to impart. Meanwhile,
you’ve managed to provide a small but inspired dose of healing for the
wounded part of your psyche, and you have gently exposed a
self-deception that had been wreaking quiet havoc. Congratulations! I’ve
got a hunch that all these fine efforts will render you extra sexy and
charismatic in the coming week. But it will probably be a subtle kind of
sexiness and charisma that only the most emotionally intelligent people
will recognize. So don’t expect to attract the attention of superficial
jerks who happen to have beautiful exteriors. Happy Valentine Daze!
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
The
coming days could be an animalistic time for you, and I mean that in
the best sense. I suspect you will generate lots of favorable responses
from the universe if you honor the part of you that can best be
described as a beautiful beast. Learn fun new truths about your
instinctual nature. Explore the mysteries of your primal urges. See what
you can decipher about your body’s secret language. May I also suggest
that you be alert for and receptive to the beautiful beast in other
people? Happy Valentine Daze, Libra!
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
For the French Scorpio poet Paul Valéry, swimming had an erotic quality. He described it as fornication avec l’onde, which
can be translated as “fornicating with the waves.” Your assignment this
Valentine season, Scorpio, is to identify at least three activities
that are like sex but not exactly sex—and then do them with glee and
abandon. The purpose of this exercise is to educate and cultivate your
libido; to encourage your kundalini to branch out as it intensifies and
expands your lust for life.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
This
Valentine season, meditate on the relentlessness of your yearning for
love. Recognize the fact that your eternal longing will never leave you
in peace. Accept that it will forever delight you, torment you, inspire
you, and bewilder you—whether you are alone or in the throes of a
complicated relationship. Understand that your desire for love will just
keep coming and coming and coming, keeping you slightly off-balance and
pushing you to constantly revise your ideas about who you are. Now read
this declaration from the poet Rilke and claim it as your own: “My
blood is alive with many voices that tell me I am made of longing.”
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
According
to physicists Yong Mao and Thomas Fink, you can tie a necktie in 85
different kinds of knots, but only 13 of those actually look good. I
encourage you to apply that way of thinking to pretty much everything
you do in the coming week. Total success will elude you if you settle on
functional solutions that aren’t aesthetically pleasing. You should
make sure that beauty and usefulness are thoroughly interwoven. This is
especially true in matters regarding your love life and close
relationships. Togetherness needs a strong dose of lyrical pragmatism.
Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn!
Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.