Election Issue 2008 | Survey Says …Never count out the strip-club patron or the wiener-eater vote. | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Election Issue 2008 | Survey Says …Never count out the strip-club patron or the wiener-eater vote. 

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City Weekly recently conducted its own highly scientific “exit” polls around Salt Lake City to get a feel for the highly charged presidential race. We targeted key hot spots in town that uniquely reflect a cross section of Salt Lake City voters. Check it out: A State Street strip club, a downtown hot dog stand and a state liquor store. (Pollster’s note: The term “exit polling” is not completely accurate for these surveys, seeing as how, in the case of the hot dog stand, it was easier to poll people while respondents waited in line, and in the case of the strip club, it was really cold outside, so the pollster found it easier to question people indoors. Oh, and the margin of error is zero. We’re that good. That’s right—you heard me, Dan Jones.
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n The Salt Lake Kitchen
n(Harroon Mohammed’s hot dog cart)
nMain & 200 South
nOct. 14, 2008
n23 respondents polled
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Q: Who are you voting for the next president of the United States?
nObama: 44 percent
nMcCain: 30 percent
nUndecided or not voting: 26 percent

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Q: What are you ordering for lunch at this tasty eatery today?
nObama Voters (10 out of 23 polled):
nTurkey dog: 20 percent
nPolish sausage: 50 percent
nHot dog: 20 percent
nJumbo: 10 percent

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McCain Voters (7 out of 23 polled):
nPolish sausage: 29 percent
nHot dog: 57 percent
nJumbo: 14 percent

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Undecided/Not Voting (6 out of 23 polled):
nTurkey dog: 20 percent
nPolish sausage: 60 percent
nHot dog: 20 percent

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Interpretation: A close race, especially considering the hot-dog stand’s relation to the downtown business-lunch crowd—which one would assume to be fairly conservative. In noting that the majority of undecided voters were Polish-dog fans, much like the Obama voters, it is our opinion that mutual love of Polish dogs will bring these undecideds into the Obama camp come Election Day.

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Trails II Men’s Club
n3055 S. State
nOct. 10, 2008
n26 respondents polled

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Q: Who are you voting for the next President of the United States?
nObama: 19 percent
nMcCain: 8 percent
nUndecided/Not Voting: 70 percent
nRon Paul: 3 percent

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Q: Blonde, brunette, redhead or no preference?
nObama Voters (5 out of 26 polled):
nBlonde: 20 percent
nBrunette: 80 percent

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McCain Voters (2 out of 26 polled):
nBrunette: 100 percent

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Undecided/Not Voting (18 out of 26 polled):
nBlonde: 28 percent
nBrunette: 50 percent
nRedhead: 6 percent
nNo Preference: 17 percent

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Ron Paul Voter (1 out of 18):
nBrunette: 100 percent

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Interpretation: If either party is looking for the untapped vote, here it is. Anecdotal evidence suggests those not voting still had a preference. As one respondent said: “I live in a red state which means I am vote-free!” Overall, it’s a mystery why the strip-club vote was so undecided. They all seemed distracted by something.

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Utah State Liquor Store
n205 W. 400 South
nOct. 9, 2008
n26 respondents polled

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Q: Who are you voting for the next president of the United States?
nObama: 65 percent
nMcCain: 11 percent
nUndecided/Not Voting/“Don’t give a shit”: 16 percent
nRalph Nader: 8 percent

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Q: What are you buying tonight?
nObama Voters (17 out of 26 polled):
nVodka (4 out of 17): 23 percent
nWine (7 out of 17): 41 percent
nCoca-Cola (1 out of 17 and probably a lie): 6 percent
nBeer (2 out of 17): 12 percent
nTequila (1 out of 17): 6 percent
nAmaretto (1 out of 17): 6 percent
nHennessy (1 out of 17): 6 percent

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McCain Voters (3 out of 26 polled):
nVodka: 33.3 percent
nBeer: 33.3 percent
nBrandy: 33.3 percent

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Undecided/Not Voting/“Don’t give a shit” (4 out of 26 polled):
nVodka: 70 percent
nBeer: 30 percent

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Ralph Nader Voters:
nCoffee Liqueur: 100 percent

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Interpretation: Sweeping the liquor store vote, Obama has proven himself a friend to Salt Lake City drinkers but, sadly fulfilling the liberal stereotype, must count on the wine drinkers for the base of his booze vote. No trends seem apparent with the McCain voters or the undecideds but, true to their non-conformist stance, the Nader supporters get by on just coffee liqueur. tttt

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