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8. Second-string kicker for the
Utah Blitz.
7. Host of Fox News’ new
primetime series The Chaff Factor..
6. Apple Store salesman: “You
can’t afford health care, but the
iPhone 8 is priced to move!”
5. Freelance paid protestor on
Craigslist.
4. Fantastic Sam’s spokesmodel:
“A perm this great is no …
oversight!”
3. Chair of anti-climate change
watchdog group, WeatherDaddy.
2. Author of City Weekly’s
Ocho-replacement column, “J.C.’s
Ethics Korner.”
1. Trojan condoms pitchman:
“Better than pulling out early—I should know!”