Crappy Valentine | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Crappy Valentine 

8 VD wishes from the somewhat bitter

Pin It
Favorite
art15432widea.jpg

Eight Valentine’s Day wishes from the somewhat bitter:

8. “You only hurt the one you love. But I’m going to hurt your Facebook whore, too.”

7. “All you need is love. I’d also like your half of the rent for the past 18 months.”

6. “Love is a circle with no beginning or end. We’ve been circling the drain for years.”

5. “You complete me. Or, what’s left of you will complete my new deck foundation.”

4. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry. So you got one right, genius.”

3. “True love never ends. But now the brake lines in your stupid van do.”

2. “Love is blind. I dream of stabbing your eyes out every night.”

1. “If you love someone, set them free. I also dream of freeing your set from your groin.”

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

Pin It
Favorite

Speaking of...

More by Bill Frost

  • Thanks for Nothin'

    Eight things you just don't want to hear from family this Thanksgiving.
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • Rated Xmas

    Screw Thanksgiving—bring on the Christmas TV!
    • Nov 22, 2017
  • Justice League Assemble!

    Eight team members conveniently left out of the new Justice League movie.
    • Nov 15, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

‚Äč

Readers also liked…

  • For the Books

    • Jul 20, 2016
  • Balk the Vote

    Nonprofit sets sights on re-energizing young voters.
    • Oct 5, 2016

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation