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Chairman Herbie 

8 items on Gov. Herbert's to-do list

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Eight items at the top of Gary Herbert’s to-do list as the new Chairman of the Western Governors’ Association:

8. Mandatory cowboy hats.

7. Tell Twitter guy to invent new hashtag thingy: #LikeAChairman.

6. Grill Hawaii’s governor about this communist Obama birth-certificate stuff.

5. Bacon sundaes all around at next board meeting. Except for Jerry Brown. Dang hippie.

4. Yahoo! when American Samoa and Guam became states; reverse decision.

3. Still no answers on that birth certificate—kick Hawaii out, too.

2. Ask Rick Perry how much he tips at Fantastic Sam’s; up it by 2 percent next visit.

1. Take Utah’s land back from the Feds and give it to the rightful owners: oil companies, mining firms and Jesus.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

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