Cancel Culture Commission Hard at Work | Opinion | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Cancel Culture Commission Hard at Work 

Smart Bomb: The completely unnecessary news analysis

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It appears that Sarah Palin's "death panels" have been replaced by the "Cancel Culture Commission"—the formidable Triple C. Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum has tire tracks on his face after saying, "There isn't much Native American culture in American culture," on CNN, where he was a commentator. Canceled. The Associated Press (AP) just shit-canned reporter Emily Wilder because when she was a student at Stanford and a member of Students for Justice in Palestine, she tweeted that the late Sheldon Adelson—who was a Jewish billionaire, Republican mega-donor and staunch defender of Israel—was a "naked mole rat." Wilder also is Jewish. Too bad. Canceled. The Triple C has yet to gag Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, who said that wearing a mask was like being sent to a Nazi concentration camp. But her BFF Rep. Matt Gaetz is about to get the Big C for things we can't repeat here at the family-friendly Smart Bomb. The staff here knows all too well about Cancel Culture. Wilson and The Smart Bomb Band have been canceled from Salt Lake City Hall after setting up under Mayor Erin Mendenhall's office window and singing a rendition of, "The Sound of Silence." Canceled. Whaddya gonna do?

The Boogeyman Cometh
What you don't see can hurt you. And, frankly, you should be frightened. If not, you could be lulled into voting for Democrats. That's why the Utah Legislature has taken proactive steps to make sure our freedoms aren't whittled away until we become some place like France or Australia. Utah, like other forward-looking places, such as Idaho and Virginia, is leading the way on freedom and made the Beehive State a "Second Amendment Sanctuary." Now those jack-booted thugs, aka Democrats, can't take away our right to defend ourselves from tyranny. Our sanctuary will keep firearms available to every red-blooded American on demand—no background checks! And they won't be able to reduce our killing power, neither—no limits on magazines! Any federal laws on guns are not binding here because we are true patriots! And that ain't all: When all those Black Lives Matter people come to tell us how to run our schools—well they can take a hike because our Republican legislators ain't gonna let 'em teach that critical race theory business, which is about as bad as the theory of evolution. Every time these lefty socialists want to foist their stuff on us, they call it a theory—which is commie-speak for bullshit. So just keep voting Republican, and we all will be rich someday.

No Vaccine for Pandemic of Mean-Ass Craziness
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) does not know how it is transmitted. It could be in the air or in the water. It could come by way of radio or TV waves. But one thing is clear, it's spreading like wildfire. Remember how leading up to the Jan. 6 insurrection, a planeload of folks started yelling, "traitor," at Sen. Mitt Romney? And to think, some of those people were Mormons. And then on Jan. 6, Donald Trump shouted to his minions, "We fight. We fight like hell. And if you don't fight like hell, you're not going to have a country anymore." It's as though mean-ass craziness is some kind of fad or style, like cuffs on pants—it just happens to be "in" right now. And there's no vaccine. Fewer Americans are attending church—the place where we learn that Jesus preached against mean-ass craziness. But what about some of those church-going evangelicals? Man, some of them are way pissed at just about everything. A nasty crowd surrounded a man at Dulles Airport in D.C. and demanded to know if he was a Democrat. He escaped with his life. So, if anyone walks up to you and snarls, "Are you a Democrat?" just say: "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." And then, run like hell.

Postscript—We are still living in the Wild West—even if you're in Baltimore. Last Saturday, in this country at six different shootings, 12 people were killed and 41 were wounded. That's just Saturday. But, hey, as former Fox news host Bill O'Reilly said: "That's the price of freedom."

In March 1996, in Scotland, 16 kids, ages 5 and 6, were gunned down along with their teacher. Later that year, the U.K. banned handguns. In April 1996, a lone gunman killed 35 people and wounded 23 others in Australia. Later that year, Australia banned semi-automatic rifles and shotguns, and imposed strict licensing. Its buy-back program netted more than 640,000 guns and 60,000 non-banned weapons were surrendered as well. Gun-related deaths fell 72 percent.

On Oct 1, 2015, in Las Vegas, 60 were killed and 411 wounded by a single gunman shooting into a music festival from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Resort in Las Vegas. Surprise—the U.S. did nothing.

In New Zealand, on March 15, 2019, a gunman killed 51 people and wounded 40 at two mosques. Less than a month later, New Zealand banned all assault rifles. More than 50,000 were surrendered. When interviewed on the subject by CNN, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said, "I do not understand the U.S."

Well, Wilson, just because you got cancelled by Mayor Mendenhall doesn't mean you and the band can't play songs by Lyle Lovett and Johnny Cash about livin' and dyin':

I hear the train a comin'
It's rolling round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when
I'm stuck in Folsom prison, and time keeps draggin' on
But that train keeps a rollin' on down to San Antone

When I was just a baby, my mama told me
"Son, always be a good boy, don't ever play with guns"
But I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die
When I hear that whistle blowing, I hang my head and cry

I bet there's rich folks eating in a fancy dining car
They're probably drinkin' coffee and smoking big cigars
Well, I know I had it coming, I know I can't be free
But those people keep a movin'
And that's what tortures me

Well, if they freed me from this prison
If that railroad train was mine
I bet I'd move it on a little farther down the line
Far from Folsom prison, that's where I want to stay
And I'd let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away

"Folsom Prison Blues"—Johnny Cash

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