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Shank You Very Much

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08/25/06, 09:29, Aggravated Burglary, near 200 South Pueblo St.

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“The suspect kicked open the door of this address carrying a large stick. The victim confronted the suspect and was hit in the head by the suspect. The victim stated that he stabbed the suspect with a small pocketknife. Suspect fled the residence southbound on Pueblo Street. The suspect is described as a male black adult, approximately 200 lbs, 5 feet 10 inches, wearing black pants, white tennis shoes, and no shirt. All hospitals in the city were contacted but suspect was not located.nn

When police picked up the suspect the next day, his festering stab wounds were a slight giveaway. He was transported to the hospital, treated, and booked into jail on suspicion of aggravated burglary. In hindsight, the adage about speaking softly and carrying a big stick seems apt. The bad guy might have skated with some booty, possibly a mite less bloody for his efforts, had he tried canoodling his victim with words before bopping him over the head. Just a thought.

nn

Where’s the Beef? Part I

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08/26/06, 23:21, Shooting, 1300 S. 300 West, Club Attica

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“The victims (19 and 21) responded to Cottonwood Hospital ER with gunshot wounds. The victims state they were in the rear parking lot of Club Attica with friends when the suspect vehicle (cream colored Escalade with nice rims, followed by several other vehicles, possibly Cadillacs also) pulled up to them and one of the occupants asked the victims if they were gang members. The victims and his friends got into their vehicles and then the suspect or suspects fired several rounds at them. The suspects then fled from the scene. Both victims were each hit once and drove themselves to Cottonwood Hospital. Witnesses in the parking lot were interviewed, but none were able to give any additional details. Unknown number of suspects, but they were described as male Hispanics. No additional information. Both victims were in good condition.nn

Where’s the Beef? Part II

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08/21/06, 04:31, Aggravated Assault, near California Avenue and Stewart Street

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“The 20-year-old male victim was walking at this location when a silver SUV stopped nearby. Three male Polynesian suspects exited the vehicle and demanded to know why the victim was wearing a red shirt. The suspects then beat the victim, causing a cut under his eye. The suspects then drove northbound on Stewart St. The victim called police from the nearby 7-Eleven store.nn

Two cases with a common thread: Gangsters prowling for gangsters, any gangsters'so long as they’re outgunned or outnumbered. Such is the absurdity of thug life.

nn

Why you wearin’ a red shirt? inquired the toughs, textbook protocol for sniffing out a rival.

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Well, I didn’t give it much thought, the flummoxed denizen might’ve replied. Would a teal smock be more to your liking?

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And they pummeled him for breaching the sacred code, the feckless morons.

nn

Nothing But a Hound Dog

nn

08/21/06, 23:17, Disturbance, Dog Shooting, near 2500 East Maywood Dr.

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“Officers responding to a vehicle driving on the golf course found the vehicle at this address. While making contact with the occupant of the vehicle and the occupant of the house, the officers were attacked by the resident’s Rottweiler dog. The officers retreated, but the dog continued to attack. One of the officers was forced to shoot the dog. The dog owner [a 22-year-old male] was issued a citation for having a vicious dog. (The condition of the dog is not yet indicated in the report.)nn

In a subsequent news report, the vicious “Rottweiller” was revealed to be a Labrador/hound mix.

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Shane Johnson

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