The Worst Series of 2009
Brothers & Sisters, Eastwick, The Forgotten, Hank, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC)
Tim & Eric: Awesome Show, Xavier: Renegade Angel (Adult Swim)
Primeval (BBC America)
Accidentally on Purpose, Flashpoint, The Mentalist (CBS)
90210, The Beautiful Life, Gossip Girl, Melrose Place (The CW)
The Jeff Dunham Show, Secret Girlfriend (Comedy Central)
Brothers, Til Death (Fox)
Entourage (HBO)
Heroes, Mercy (NBC)
Sanctuary (SyFy)
Dark Blue, Hawthorne, Men of a Certain Age, Raising the Bar, Saving Grace (TNT)
Even WORSE Series of 2009
The Bachelor, Dancing With the Stars (ABC)
The Jacksons (A&E)
Denise Richards: It’s Complicated, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kendra, Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami, Leave It to Lamas (E!)
American Idol, Hitched or Ditched, More to Love, So You Think You Can Dance?, The Wanda Sykes Show (Fox)
Fox & Friends, Glenn Beck, Hannity, Huckabee (Fox News)
The Ed Show (MSNBC)
The City, The Hills (MTV)
I’m a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here, The Jay Leno Show, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon (NBC)
Dance Your Ass Off, Tori & Dean (Oxygen)
Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, The Tyra Banks Show, The Wendy Williams Show (Syndicated)
Lopez Tonight (TBS)
Jon & Kate Plus Eight (TLC)
Want to See More of in 2010 …
Fox News’ Red Eye With Greg Gutfeld (funniest show on at 3 a.m. … far as I can tell)
NBC’s Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien (the Leno audience tuned out, so he’s doing something right)
The inevitable crash and burn of MTV’s Jersey Shore cast (survey says … tanning-bed fatalities!)
MSNBC’s Countdown With Keith Olbermann (funniest show on at 6 p.m. … far as I can tell)
Another, more focused season of Starz’s Crash (or at least more of Moran Atias)
SyFy’s Stargate Universe (just lighten it up a little, fergawdsakes)
TLC’s Little Chocolatiers (better Salt Lake City PR than Big Love)
Fox 13’s Saturday-morning news (coming in January—not that I’ll likely be awake; see Red Eye)
Want to See Less of in 2010 …
KJZZ 14’s News at Nine (an utter waste of our and KUTV 2’s time)
New singing, dancing, dating or weight-loss competition shows (America used to take its meager talents and loneliness to the grave—let’s get back to basics)
New Seth MacFarlane cartoons (The Cleveland Show … need I go on?)
Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush (talentless dickweed, even by entertainment-fluff standards)
KSL 5 running primetime Saturday Night Live specials but still not SNL proper (seriously, WTFingF?)
VH1 (just VH1, the entire channel—it’s time).
The Best Series of the Decade
Irrelevant right now—this decade isn’t over until Dec. 31, 2010. Oh, OK, fine: The Bad Girls Club (Oxygen). Happy?