Axe Cop, Orphan Black 

• Axe Cop (FXX)

Axe Cop
Thursday, April 16 (FXX)
Season Premiere: Few watched Fox's failed attempt to take on both Adult Swim and Saturday Night Live with the late-night Animation Domination High-Def (ADHD—get it?) in 2013; fewer still are aware that the cartoon block moved to FXX in January of this year. Only the puttin'-the-"high"-in-High-Def Lucas Bros. Moving Co. and some lazy scribbling called Stone Quackers have been offering new episodes—until now! Axe Cop, about a cop with an axe and a great catchphrase ("I'll chop your head off!"), finally returns for a second season of epic ridiculousness from the mind of a 5-year-old, voiced by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation). But wait! There's more ADHD goodness ...

Major Lazer
Thursday, April 16 (FXX)
Series Debut: Major Lazer, the musical entity, is DJ/producer Diplo and a series of collaborators specializing in electro-house dancehall, reggae, moombahton, soca and other possibly fictitious genres. Major Lazer, the cartoon, is a "rasta commando" with an '80s G.I. Joe bent based on album covers and concert posters. It may look like an aesthetic clone of Adult Swim's Mike Tyson Mysteries at first, but Major Lazer kicks the retro style up to frenetic levels to match the pounding beats. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Lost) voices the titular lead, but the guest-actor list is where it really goes rando: Andy Samberg, Aziz Ansari, singer Charli XCX, rapper Riff Raff, Oscar winner J.K. Simmons(!), and Vampire Weekend's Ezra Koenig as a "vegan vampire"(!!).

Bitten
Friday, April 17 (Syfy)
Season Premiere: Laura Vandervoort (Smallville) didn't make much of a first impression in Bitten's 2014 debut as a she-werewolf just trying to make it on her own in whatever big city Toronto is supposed to pass for onscreen. She was all blond hair and blank stares, with none of the edge or humor that made surrounding Syfy hits like the late Being Human and the soon-to-be-late Lost Girl click—but she did get naked frequently, so there's that. Season 2 looks to be more of the Twilight-adjacent same, as her ambition to break free from her beardy, mansplaining kin is further hampered by the arrival of ... witches. Did we learn nothing from True Blood?

Lost Girl
Friday, April 17 (Syfy)
Season Premiere: On the downside, Season 5 will be the last for Canadian import Lost Girl. On the upside, the sexy supernatural soap's final ride will consist of 16 episodes, bringing the total number of Lost Girl episodes to 69, a figure that succubus Bo (Anna Silk) and her quippy sidekick Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) would find hilarious—if Kenzi hadn't sacrificed herself to the Underworld at the end of last season, anyway. Bo's final mission is to bring her BFF back from the "dead," which could prove difficult, as actress Solo is currently trapped somewhere at least as bad as Hell: AMC's soggy period drama Turn: Washington's Spies.

Orphan Black
Saturday, April 18 (BBC America)
Season Premiere: Ksenia Solo is also a guest on the new season of cult phenomenon Orphan Black—Tatiana Maslany can't play every role ... can she? In Season 3, the militaristic male Castor clones are targeting Sarah (Maslany) and her myriad clone sisters with—probably safe to assume—malicious intent, Helena (Maslany) is pregnant and imprisoned in a compound, Cosima is (Maslany) somewhat on the mend, and season-opener episode "The Weight of This Combination" will be hard to miss, as it'll be premiering simultaneously on BBC America, AMC, IFC, Sundance and We. "Sister" networks ... oh, how cheeky.

Listen to Bill on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell; weekly on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes and Stitcher.