Author interview: Kelsey Osgood on Godstruck: Seven Women's Unexpected Journeys to Religious Conversion 

• Courtesy Photo
• Author Kelsey Osgood

In 2012, while in her late 20s, writer Kelsey Osgood began a three-year process of converting to Orthodox Judaism, after being raised in a mostly non-religious household. Her new book Godstruck features profiles of several women like herself who undertook similar transitions from an absence of organized religion into faith traditions including Roman Catholicism, Islam and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This conversation has been edited for length and for clarity.

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City Weekly: Did the origins for this project come from the realization that you kept having to answer the same kind of "why" questions about your conversion?

Kelsey Osgood: I don't know that every day, someone was saying, "Why would you do this?" But it came up often enough that I think there was some part of me that thought, when you're a writer, having the space to really go into something, as opposed to when you're having a conversation ... I'm more articulate in writing than in one-on-one conversation with someone. But also ... I think there was this idea in the water at the time—and it's still there, but changing just slightly now—that the world is becoming more secular, or at least America was, and that it was a good thing. I can be a little contrarian, so I thought, well, is it? In some ways, but in all ways? One of them was a personal, "yeah, here's my chance to answer." But it was also about doing that cost-benefit analysis.

CW: In terms of specific rituals that might seem archaic to outsiders, was there a part of you that just wanted to go, "I don't really care if this makes sense to you, not everything needs to make sense to everybody."

KO: There is a little bit of that. I think when you're religious, people feel like it's low-hanging fruit; I think there has been a little bit of a free pass to poke holes at things in religious ritual. And I get that. But there's some aspect of that in everyone's life. There are places in everybody's life where we maybe do things because we feel some kind of internal or external pressure. It's pretty normal to recognize that "this is the commitment I made, but sometimes it's annoying." There's no taboo in saying that.

CW: There are some clichés about the zeal of the convert, yet that didn't feel characteristic of the subjects you followed. Was that a deliberate choice on your part, or did it just work out that way?

KO: It's not reality TV, where there were hundreds of people lining up to do this. But it would have been challenging of me to have somebody who was like that, because there's no complexity there. If you have no qualms, and everything you do, you love it, there's no nuance; that's hard to write about.

CW: Certainly one reason a lot of people have become disillusioned with more mainstream faith traditions is the attitudes about things like queer identity. How do you feel about the fact that many of the ideas about the advantages of religious community you describe might be appealing, but that they come with a lot of baggage?

KO: When I converted, it was for many reasons an exciting time of embarking on a big personal change. But I have to recognize that had I been born into this life, I might have changed the other way, for any number of reasons. It's hard for me to speak on somebody's childhood wounds, as someone who doesn't know what it's like to grow up in that environment. ... One thing is, everything kind of comes with baggage. It wasn't maybe clear 10-20 years ago what the baggage of secularization is, but I think we know now: loneliness, not knowing how to get the help you need when you're struggling. A lot of times, people say they want to live in a village. But villages come with rules. ... Some communities just say, "It's against the law, too bad, that's the way it is." But in my world, there are people who really try to make it so you don't have to live with this big part of yourself that's in the shadows or that you feel ashamed of.

CW: You end on a poignant note of worrying that your own children's spiritual questing might possibly lead them away from the tradition that you chose. At the end of researching and writing this book, do you believe that there are any right or wrong answers if someone is seeking earnestly, whether that seeking ultimately leads them to God, or away from God?

KO: I'm an Orthodox Jew, so for my children, is there a right answer? Yes, the answer is to be an Orthodox Jew. If my kids grow up and they decide not to keep shabbat, will I be sad? Yes, I will be very sad. But ... do I think there's a right or wrong way of seeking? No, not really. I think there are ways that work better. But I don't think there's any way that's wrong.