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Alternative Utah Pioneers 

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Eight “alternative Utah pioneers”who didn’t make the cut for this issue:

8. Mike Leavitt, pioneer of the “Yeah … gotta go!” aborted governorship.

7. Utah-based Arctic Circle, pioneers of the Condiment of the Gods: fry sauce.

6. Utah-originated KFC, pioneers of the Entrée of the Gods: The Famous Bowl.

5. Enid Greene, pioneer of the teary “I didn’t know my husband was a douchebag!” press conference.

4. Orem’s The Used, pioneers of ratty fingerless gloves now sold at Hot Topic for $13.

3. “Porn Czar” Paula Houston (2001-03), pioneer of the dumbest Utah government job ever created.

2. “Maddox,” pioneer of Internet smack-talk, er, blogging, before the term “blog” was invented (1997-present, Maddox. xmission.com).

1. SLC-born Roseanne Barr, pioneer of fat, obnoxious television stars (pre-reality TV).


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