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Adventures in Babysitting 

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06/09/06, 18:29, Child Neglect/Resisting, 370 E. 200 South



The 41-year-old female suspect “left her 4-year-old at Albertsons for 30 minutes while she left the store to ‘get something out of her car.’ Officers responded just as the [suspect] drove back into the parking lot in her vehicle. Officers went with the [suspect] to her home to see if there were any concerns of neglect in the home. Officers determined that the home was of no concern. Officers were going to leave the child with the [suspect] and the case to be reviewed by DCFS. Officers were leaving when the [suspect] attempted to make verbal arrangements for the officers to watch her child and attempted to dart out the door. Officers stopped the [suspect] and she started to fight with them. [The suspect] was arrested, booked into jail on Child Neglect and Resisting. The child was taken into protective custody, DCFS responded.

The sad, albeit obvious, irony is that the law requires a license to drive away from your child, yet there’s no such prerequisite for giving birth.



Victimless Crime?



06/10/06, 19:08, Aggravated Assault, 625 S. Redwood Road



“The 30-year-old victim went to the Eagle’s Landing Apartments at this address. Witnesses state that the victim had been there twice earlier in the day attempting to pick a fight. When the victim arrived this time, he parked his vehicle in the lot blocking another vehicle. The driver/suspect of the second vehicle asked the victim to move his vehicle and the victim replied with obscenities. The victim then challenged the driver of the blocked vehicle to a fight, which was declined. The victim then approached the driver and pushed him twice. The driver hit the victim once in the face knocking him to the ground. The victim sustained an injury to the back of his head and was in critical condition at the hospital. The suspect is described as a [male, white] in his 20’s (no further description). The suspect was driving a small white vehicle.

Burnt to a Crisp, or Bloody as Hell?



06/05/06, 03:25, Aggravated Burglary, near 400 E. 300 South



The 43-year-old male suspect “was outside having a barbeque and realized that he locked himself out of his apartment. [The suspect] went to the assistant manager’s apartment in search of a key. When the victim (asst. manager) told [the suspect] he didn’t have a key, [the suspect] produced a knife and began ‘slashing’ at the victim forcing his way into thevictim’s apartment. The victim was able to force [the suspect] out, but received a laceration to his forearm. [The suspect] then went outside to continue his barbeque but began threatening to burn down the apartments. The victim then confronted [the suspect] and told him to calm down or the police would be called and [the suspect] again produced his knife this time cutting the victim’s hand. [The suspect] then attempted to climb the wall into his apartment but fell, causing a laceration to his head. The lacerations to the victim were minor as was the laceration to [the suspect’s] head. [He] was booked for Aggravated Burglary and Aggravated Assault after he was treated by fire [department] for the cut to his head.

Of note, besides the assistant manager’s apparent Job-like patience, and besides the ungodly 3 a.m. hour of this cookout, the marauding grill man is listed as “homeless” in booking records. Perhaps that explains why the hapless assistant manager was unable to locate said marauding grill man’s apartment key. Incidentally, one must hope that the arrestee cleaned his cutlery between lacerating the manager and slicing up the fixin’s.

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About The Author

Shane Johnson

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