Shitty Clickbait: Dating Website Claims SLC Women Only Want Mormon Guys | Buzz Blog

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Shitty Clickbait: Dating Website Claims SLC Women Only Want Mormon Guys

Posted By on July 9, 2014, 8:02 AM

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According to a survey from, a site where Utah's most gullible rubes can pay for dates with gold-digging women (you know, sort of like how one does with prostitutes), it would appear that Salt Lake City men are less likely to find a wife to sex with if they haven't gone on a mission.

The site used an open-poll to find out "the most common reasons singles in Salt Lake are vetoing potential sweethearts." This particular poll had users fill in their own answers and the most popular words then occupied an adjacent word-cloud (essentially to influence the other users).

It's not a very scientific method and it doesn't prove by any measure that the majority of women living in metropolitan SLC care if a guy went on a mission. Anyway, here's their terribly generic list of dating "Dating Deal Breakers" for SLC: 

1.  Not religious or did not go on a mission
2. Doesn't want kids
3. Low job status
4. Doesn't like Napoleon Dynamite
5. Laziness

Not surprisingly, Salt Lake City's list of no-nos falls right in line with our state's LDS influence ... and also how we apparently value opinions of Napoleon Dynamite over laziness. 

Only 2,000 of the site's users are from Salt Lake City, and only 1,200 of them actually did the poll, according to Brooke Urick, public-relations manager for  Now remember, this data comes from the users that frequent, who also collect money from horny chumps in exchange for "prearranged services." So, keep that in mind before you worry about dying alone because you're not religious enough. 

A more realistic list of "deal breakers" for SLC would probably go something like this:

1.  Absence of robust beard
2. No full-sleeve tats 
3. Zero Macklemore haircut  
4. Isn't an Exmo 
5. Didn't pick me up with Lyft 

If you're the type of person who likes to know where your clickbait listicle comes from, is owned by Brandon Wade, champion of men, lover of women and god of paying for mutually beneficial sexual encounters. He's also the brains behind the sugar-daddy sites, and the "might as well bang a dude for a free vacation" site 

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