The Outer Darkness Podcast | Buzz Blog

Monday, January 14, 2013

The Outer Darkness Podcast

Posted By on January 14, 2013, 11:00 AM

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Of all the podcasts this city has, whether they be in the geek realm, the interview types, or even the religious, no one could have expected to see a podcast from an ex-Mormon point of view. --- Well, at least, not one as soon as this. The Outer Darkness Podcast dives head first into the lives and observations of former LDS church members, who under the cover of aliases discuss openly and freely about their experiences as well as their thoughts on teachings and doctrine from a very different perspective. The show's popularity has quickly risen in podcast circles, fueled by a growing audience of fellow ex-Mormons and people outside of the church who are simply curious.

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Today, I chat with the three nameless and faceless hosts (who, for obvious reasons, have chosen to conceal their identities) about the show and the response they've received so far, thoughts on podcasting in general and a number of other topics. (All photos courtesy of ODP.)

The Bastard Son of Joseph Smith, Orrin Porter & Nimrod The Lamanite

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Gavin: Hello, everyone. First thing, tell us a little bit about yourselves.

Bastard: Direct descendent of Joseph Smith (but not through Emma). Born and raised in Utah in a large, typical Mormon family. I have three sons: 13, 10, and 7. I enjoy music and this podcast, of course.

Porter: NOT from Utah, though my mother is from Utah and my father is from Idaho. I am the result of a BYU hookup in the '70s. This is soooo sad and weird to me. I was born and raised in the southern U.S. in a devout LDS home. I come from Mormon pioneer heritage on both sides and am a fourth-great-grandson of one of the original Quorum of the Twelve apostles. My ghetto roots run deep. I love rap music and R&B music – the first album I ever bought was Geto Boys We Can’t Be Stopped in 1991 and I been listening to rap music ever since.

Nimrod: Well, I’m the token Lamanite of the bunch, and resident geek of the podcast. I'm also the guy on the show who plugs all the mics into the computer and records shit; I don't know what that's called, but if there’s a way to work “Jedi” into my position title, that would be awesome. We all come from strong Mormon families and communities, so due to the blasphemous nature of our show, we go by aliases and nobody knows who we are. I go by Nimrod because it’s my Temple name. That’s right, they gave me Nimrod -- swear to God. I have a severe addiction to action figures, comics, and Nerf guns, and I own several pairs of Batman underwear. (One at a time ladies, one at a time, please.) I’m also a film school dropout, I think beer should be considered a meal, I’m totally straight, but if Joseph Gordon-Levitt ever leaned in to kiss me, I wouldn’t pull away. (That’s not gay, right?) Every night, I fall asleep watching Star Wars on VHS -- Every. Single. Night. Also, if the choice is ever between monkeys and anything else, monkeys win every time. And I tend to go on random tangents quite often. Boobs.

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Gavin: How did all of you meet and become friends?

Bastard: I always suspected that Nimrod was attracted to me when we were working on the set of a reality show. We hit it off quickly because of our common experience with the Mormon faith.

Nimrod:. Bastard and I were working on a TV show together and I thought he was a Momo. He told me he’d left the church and we turned into chatty little school girls after that. The rest of the day, we spent running away from our boss and looking for hiding places so we could keep talking about life after religion. We went to go hide in the broom closet and he said, “Here, hold this broom,” and I grabbed it, but it turned out to be his hard penis. I shook my head at him, and he just smiled and pulled out a roll of Mentos. We’ve been best buds ever since. I met Orrin Porter while I was working on a Mormon film project. His roommate was “kinda” Mormon, but not a true believer, and hired me to edit some Mormon film for him. So, I’d go to their house and edit people’s testimonies, talking about Jesus and they were all crying and shit, and every time I’d get to the point of killing myself, Porter would come up and invite me to take vodka shots with him. I hate vodka, but it got me through editing that goddamned church film. So, I’d get fucked up with Porter while I edited church footage and we bonded over laughing about who had the funniest Momo stories. Then we’d put our pants on and I’d go home. I’ve known Johnny Cuervo since I was 12 years old. We grew up in Utah County together. The first time I ever got drunk was with him one morning before school. He had a FULL BAR in his room and it was a cold, snowy morning. He pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and said, “Here, this’ll warm you up.” And it did ... very nicely. I don’t remember much of what happened at school that day, but we’ve been brothers ever since. I also watched my first porno with Cuervo, smoked my first cigarette with him and woke up with my first hangover at his house. And he gives the best hetero-hand jobs out of all my friends. (That’s not gay, right?) Cuervo grew up to be the best drink-mixing sensei this side of the Temple, so when Porter, Bastard and I started the podcast and we talked about bringing someone on to make drinks for us, I said, “I know the perfect guy!” Now, he is our Lord and Savior and turns water into wine for us on the show. I met Lady Magdalene when she and Cuervo became an item. She’s awesome, she’s beautiful and she cusses like a sailor. And she’s the only person keeping the show from being an all-out sausage party. We love her.

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Gavin: Getting right to the topic, each of you have left the LDS faith. What were your situations and what eventually led to your departures?

Bastard: I was raised LDS but never had a sense that I belonged. I first noticed it at about age 8, when I would wonder how it was possible to believe this shit. After I got married and had children, I realized that it was not true, at least not for what I want, and stopped attending. It took several more years for me to finally tell my parents, family and friends.

Porter: Mormons are seekers of truth. This desire to seek truth was ingrained in me at a young age. Mormonism does not contain all truth. It actually contains a few outright lies. The church can’t have it both ways. The historical accuracy of the church is dubious, at BEST. I left after years of study and research into the history of the church. Because of my heritage, church history is actually my family history, so I always found reasons to enjoy the research. I found that many of my "tough" questions could never be answered by anything found in the official church library or in Deseret Book – basically, all of that stuff is for the brainwashed members. If an active member wants to really know about the historical events of the church, they can’t find it in their church books. To find truth, an active member has to step outside the church-approved ‘reading list’. Praise Allah for the Interwebs -- that was sarcasm.

Nimrod: My story is crazy. It started after I got married and my wife and I were preparing to go to the temple to be sealed. I realized that I didn’t know much about the history of my church or its leaders or anything. I was in school at the U of U at the time and the library there has the most amazing collection of old Mormon books upstairs. So, between classes I’d spend hours just devouring anything I could get my hands on. I read the Journal of Discourses from cover to cover, I read most of Joseph Smith’s History of the Church, and a whole bunch of journals and other shit from the OG’s of the church. And I found some of the most fucked-up shit I’ve ever read! Like, crazy crazy shit, man. And it wasn’t even anti-Mormon literature or anything, I was reading shit written by all the dudes I learned about in church, in the original books they wrote them in. I totally get why the church doesn’t want anyone in the fold to read that stuff because it totally mind-fucked me and sent me into severe depression. I was at a major crossroads at that point. Either it’s all bullshit and I need to leave the church and face ostracism from my family, or it’s actually true... and all that crazy shit really did happen and these men were really prophets of God. I went with the idea that it was all true. I embraced all the old history, the visions, the rocks in the hat, all of it. That led me to see how different the modern day church is compared to the original church, and I started feeling like the modern church was straying away from the core principles of what they were founded on. Which in turn led me to finding other “like-minded” individuals and I ended up joining a fundamentalist cult. It was insanity, it’s like the Mormon underground here in Utah. There are TONS of offshoot groups all over the state. It’s like a goddamned network. And I got deep into the fundamentalist lifestyle and mindset over the next five years or so. I dropped out of film school and quit my job because I thought the world was going to end and believed Jesus would be sending me money magically through the mail. I lost my mind. It was absolute insanity, and it seems like a dream when I think about it now. Anyways, one of these groups I was associated with was having their version of General Conference one night, and these guys were running their shit identically to the original church of the 1800s. And I looked around the room, and something just “clicked” and I woke up, and said, “These people are goddamned fucking NUTS!!! What the fuck am I doing here? All I wanted to do was be a good Mormon, and this is where religion brought me? Fuck this noise!” And I was out. I went home that night, smoked a joint and drank a six pack and I haven’t looked back since.

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Gavin: Were there many attempts to bring you back in, or were you officially done and left alone once it was done?

Bastard: It was pretty easy for me since my family was accepting and the fact that the church is having a hard time finding me.

Porter: Fortunately for me, no. Once I was done, I was done. Never looked back.

Nimrod: My wife and I got called into a private meeting with the bishop and stake pres because they felt we were on the “high road to apostasy.” My wife was kicking their asses in scripture knowledge and church history and they got super-mad and threatened to ex us, so I just put my hands up and said, “Hey, look. You don’t want us here, we don’t want to be here ... I’ll make it easy on you. Just show me where to sign and let’s call it a day.” And they LOVED that we were gone, it made life so much easier for them. In fact, we actually became good friends with the bishop after that. We weren’t his problem anymore. So, the church wants nothing to do with me. My uncles, aunts, and cousins are always trying to bring me back, though. And for that reason, I always attend family reunions with a good buzz, and keep beer in the parking lot.

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Gavin: What was it like for each of you post-Mormonism and adjusting to not having that be a part of your lives?

Bastard: It was awesome, all the extra time with no guilt that I should be somewhere else. I miss church ball, though. The hard part is deprogramming your mind with what has been taught and at the same time being careful not to get into trouble with the new freedom. Also hard knowing that you will lose a few of your friends who don't understand the decision.

Porter: At first, it’s tough. Having been through it now -- and observing many others leave since me -- I can tell you that it’s a process. It will take most active members three-five years to "get over" the church. There is a cycle of fear, depression, anger and regret that everyone has to go through to leave their faith behind. It’s a downright terrible time. I mean, I was in a dark place for a while there. But that’s the beauty of this podcast. Now that I have experienced it and helped other friends through it, I want other people out there to know that they’re not alone. There is hope. Things do get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It gets better. Boy, does it ever, and when you let go of the anger, the depression, the regret, you find yourself in an amazing place. You’re FREE. It’s worth the three-five years to feel what I feel every day. My life is now more fulfilling than it has ever been. So, I guess in some way we do this podcast to help people.

Nimrod: I went through years of severe depression after leaving; I went through years of anger, years of bitterness, hate and blaming. And when I finally worked through all of that, I was able to laugh about what a crazy ride it had been. And just like that, my anger was gone. I consider myself an atheist, but I’m pretty Buddhist. I think every atheist has their favorite guy or their atheist guru, or what not, and mine is Alan Watts. His writings and lectures really helped me get out of the anger and depression and learn to be good with myself. I’m not anti-Mormon, I love Mormons. The church played a tremendous part of my life; it’s a huge part of what made me who I am today, and I’m proud of who I am. That being said, I thoroughly enjoy laughing at their expense. They’re just so cute. I liken leaving the church to being thrown in the middle of the ocean. The foundation of everything I had built my life on was completely ripped out from under me. I found myself in the middle of an ocean with nothing to stand on, no land in sight, no idea which direction to go toward, completely lost and just struggling to keep my head above water. But then you just pick a direction and start swimming, and you go from there. And that’s the best part because you get to decide what works for you, and what makes life awesome, and why you are amazing, and you get to build your life based on what you want it to look like instead of building something that you are being told to build. You get to decide who you are, rather than be told who you are. It’s absolute freedom, once you pick a direction and start swimming. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

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Gavin: How did the idea come about to start up a podcast about this?

Bastard: Nimrod mentioned it to me while working on the reality show, that he and Porter were talking about doing something like this and I wanted to be in. Figured it would be good therapy having a forum to discuss beliefs with like-minded people.

Porter: The idea came up because all of us had been facing different variations of Mormonism, in and out of the church. We would get together and discuss what we were going through many times, marveling at how different our lives were now out of the church compared to when we were in. Family relationships, friends, how we spend our free time, views on life after death, religion – all of it changed after Mormonism. Our topics of conversation were hilarious and covered anything from politics to paparazzi. Our collective perspectives were so unique that we felt they deserved a voice all its own – Outer Darkness Podcast is born. We all decided the same thing: basically, religion is horseshit. And we thought it would be a great idea to help others cope with life post-Mormonism, and have fun in general being politically incorrect assholes, which comes easy.

Nimrod: Since I left the church, one thing I’ve found fascinating is the “brotherhood” that exists between all the ExMos -- ex-Mormons. I live a lifestyle very much outside the boundaries of the rules of the church, but it’s just normal behavior everywhere else. I’ve lived outside of Utah and I fit right in at the bars and shit; I can make friends with anyone over beer and cigarettes. But the closest friends I have in my life are all ExMo. It’s an unspoken bond we have with each other. The church is such a tremendous part of your existence when you’re fully in, and for those who find their way out, it’s like this sojourn of triumph that we all share because we broke those chains and got out of it. I have a lot of friends who are still in the church, and I love them dearly, and I have a lot of friends who were never Mormon and they’re amazing friends, but they don’t always “get it” when it comes to all of this. Some do, but most people don’t get why it’s such a big deal to us that we left the church. They don’t get why we are obsessed with talking about it, after all these years. So, when my close friends and I get together, we drink. A lot. No ... I mean we drink-- A LOT. And every time we drink, we end up talking about our past in the church and trying to one-up everyone else with hilarious stories about those days. And the laughter keeps us out of the “angry stage” that so many ExMos get stuck in. It’s like therapy. I don’t know of any therapists who specialize in how to cope with losing faith, but there need to be some. Anyways, I’ve been a podcast junkie for years -- hey to Geekshow. So, one night I was sitting at Porter’s house, laughing my ass off at all my drunken ExMo friends, and I said, “We need to record this shit.” I approached Porter with the idea, and he said he was down. A while later, I met Bastard and instantly knew he needed to be a part of it. I invited the two of them over to my house to get shitfaced and see if we could vibe off each other and make each other laugh, and it just worked. We laughed our asses off that night and planned our first recording for a week later. By the third episode, Our Lord Johnny Cuervo and Lady Magdalene joined us, and that was it.

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Gavin: What was it like planning it and figuring out the format and subjects for the show?

Bastard: We would each come up with a few topics and then try to have a discussion as if we were just friends talking over a beer.

Porter: Our podcasts are continuing to evolve. We're still adjusting the format and seeing what works. In that way, it’s cool 'cause we usually change things up – keeps it fresh.

Nimrod: Originally, we wanted to run it like a sacrament meeting, and follow a strict format and have segments and shit. But we also wanted to get drunk on the show while we record, and so sticking to a format didn’t really work so great. After a few recordings, we realized that keeping things loose helped the discussion stay organic and natural. Also, it made more sense to be the anti-sacrament meeting and be more free flowing and let the conversation go wherever it may. We all have different interests and different views on things, so we usually just show up with whatever is on our minds that day and we start chatting, and somehow it always leads to talking about religion. The show is still morphing and evolving and we are trying to let it grow into what feels right, instead of forcing it into a nice package with a bow or some shit. We’re just running with it.

Gavin: How much work was it to get the proper equipment and set up a space for the studio?

Bastard: That's the beauty of podcasting -- it takes very little equipment and space to do.

Nimrod: Studio??? What the fuck is that? We’re hella ghetto, dude. We had no equipment, didn’t know what the fuck we were doing or how to do it. We started out with RockBand mics and duct-taped them to lamps and shit for makeshift mic stands, then plugged them into our computers and recorded on Garage Band in our living room. And we all had to record on separate computers and sync our audio in post. Pain in the arse. We’ve upgraded little by little, but we’re still pretty ghetto ... gotsta keep it real, namsain’.

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Gavin: What was the recording session like for the first episode, and what did you personally think of the show?

Bastard: The first time was kind of a disaster because we had never done it before and we ended up getting pretty drunk by the end of the recording. I was proud to have actually done what we set out to do, but realized we had some work to do to get better. I had a fantastic time, though.

Porter: Our first show was cool! We got really drunk and kept recording for about an hour and a half ... ha! But we knew there would be bumps in the road as we mastered our craft. As we’ve gotten e-mails of encouragement or shout-outs from our fans, I can tell you it feels great to know our fans love us and support us. And there’s plenty more fans out there who haven’t even found us yet!!!

Nimrod: It was cool? Holy shit, Porter, what the fuck are you smoking? That first one was a goddamned disaster! We got together and thought, “Yeah, man, we’ll get fucking wasted and we’ll be all drunk and it’ll be awesome! Wooohooo!!!” Well, that was the idea, anyway. It took me so long to set up the equipment the first time that we got plastered before we even hit record. And it continued to get worse as we recorded. We were just sloppy, shit-faced drunk and our conversations didn’t make any sense at all. The next day when I listened to it, I realized the recording was 99% unusable. So, we actually had to get back together and re-record our first episode again, and that’s the one we released. No one will ever hear that original first episode ... ever.

Gavin: Considering the subject matter, what kind of feedback do you receive from both current and former members of the church?

Bastard: The sad part is that we haven't received enough feedback from current members other than they respect our point of view. We would like to have more members that would welcome a discussion. As far as former members, we are starting to get a lot of really cool stories and messages from people who enjoy the show and can really relate to us.

Porter: Current members? Not sure we hear much from them. Former members? Lots of thanks and encouragement. If nothing else, I think listeners are glad to know they are not alone.

Nimrod: All we ever wanted was to get angry letters and death threats. But all we seem to get are praises of our awesomeness and how much we are loved. I don’t know what we are doing wrong, but somehow we ended up with the most loving, supportive listeners, and they are so great. It’s really starting to feel like a community: Our listeners donate money to keep the show running, they e-mail topics for us to talk about, they give us awesome stories to vibe off of, and post pics and articles to our Facebook page; it’s fantastic. We love it.

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Gavin: Do you view any subject matter pertaining to religion too taboo to talk about, or have reservations getting into, or is it more the idea that nothing is off-limits?

Bastard: We always set out with this show to have a forum where nothing is too SACRED to speak about or discuss. If you are going to be part of a religion, you should be prepared to defend or discuss it. I don't think we have gotten taboo enough.

Porter: Nothing is off-limits! It’s better this way and keeps us all honest.

Nimrod: We are out to offend every nation, kindred, tongue and people. If lines exist, our mission is to cross them.

Gavin: Do you know if the show has had any impact on the listeners to either leave or join the church? Or is it simply more of an interesting listen for the audience?

Nimrod: I couldn’t imagine our show would persuade anyone either way. I think about it like the church was the main event and we are the after-party. We just wanted to be a kick-in-the-ass for the ExMo community. There are a bunch of ex-Mormon podcasts out there that are very informational, historically accurate, and have educational discussions, and they’re great ... but we are not that AT ALL. We’re just a bunch of idiots who used to be Mormon, and we get fucked up and talk about what our lives are like after religion. Our show is drunken party conversation. It’s a hang-out for ExMos. If there is any sort of impact I’d like to have on listeners, it would be to help people who have recently left, or are thinking about leaving, to just get past the anger and the bitterness and just learn to laugh about it all. Alcohol helps with that ... Johnny Cuervo gives us a drink recipe on every show and we post them up on our website so listeners can drink along with us.

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Gavin: Down the road, are you looking to bring in more guests or maybe even discuss news currently happening with the church? Or do you prefer the idea of keeping it loose and just talking as friends about whatever?

Bastard: I am excited for the direction we plan to take the show this year. We plan to have many guests, both members and non. I like the idea of keeping it loose and free as we have been doing, it sounds more genuine that way.

Nimrod: Guests YES!!! We love having guests on. We are currently looking for guests to bring on who can school us on how to enjoy all the sins we could never partake of as Mormons. We are looking for brewmasters, baristas, strippers, bartenders and anyone who can teach ExMos how to have fun in this world of sin. We also bring listeners and friends on to share their exit stories and shoot the shit with us on the show. We’re pretty open to bringing anyone on who has an interesting point of view or a cool story to tell. Keeping things a loose conversation is what we are, and that’s what we always will be. We don’t edit our shows much at all; we like the raw, unprofessional nature of our show, mistakes and all, and we want it to feel like our listeners are just hanging out with us. As far as discussing church news -- meh. Porter disagrees with me because he loves talking church news, but the amount of fucks I give about what the church does now is slim to none. I love talking about and listening to personal stories and experiences, but I’m so far removed from the church that I really don’t care what they do. OH, unless they try to pull some Prop 8 shit again, because that shit was hella fucked up, man! Straight up bullshit. I mean, I love Mormons as a people. I love the lay members of the church, I really do, but I am not a fan of the institution of the organized church. I would get such a hard-on to see it crumble into oblivion, and I will throw coffee beans on its rubble.

Gavin: What's your overall goal with the show, and how big would you like to see it grow?

Bastard: I would like to see us get a national audience of all types and would like the show to be a place where lost souls can come and get perspective from other like-minded people. I would also like to see it get big enough that the Mormon church would have to answer some of the questions that we and many current members have.

Nimrod: First and foremost, we want to create a community. It’s hard to be ExMo and make the transition out when everyone you know is still in the church. We want to be there for support, with open arms and Johnny Cuervo’s drinks in hand, ready to laugh our asses off as we lead you all to the Great and Spacious Building.

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Gavin: Going more local, what are your thoughts on the podcasts coming out of Utah these days, both good and bad?

Bastard: I think Utah has a unique culture and perspective from many other parts of the country. Many talented people reside here. The podcasts that I have heard from here support that theme. Some of the pro-Mormon podcasts are hilarious and some of the anti-Mormon podcasts are pretty mean. There are some really good geek podcasts and pop culture-type casts, though.

Nimrod: I’m a goddamned podcast junkie! And I love all the local shows I’ve heard so far. I feel like Salt Lake has the most amazing culture. I brag about it all the time to my friends and family outside the state. We have a strong music scene, a strong film community, a city full of freaks and geeks, strong support for local business, tattoos and piercings as far as the eye can see ... and it grew out of the heart of Mormonville, which I think is fucking rad. Salt Lake City is the best-kept secret in America, and I feel like the podcasts coming out of here really reflect that culture. I don’t know how accurate this is, but it seems like we have a lot of podcasts based here in comparison to most other places in the country, and I really want to see the local podcast community continue to grow.

Gavin: Is there anything you believe could be done to make these shows more prominent?

Nimrod: Hey, Bastard, where the fuck did Porter go?

Bastard: Shit, I think the Danites got him again. Dammit -- just go on without him. Talk about the network.

Nimrod: Jesus Christ, he’s always disappearing. Whatever, OK. So, when we launched Outer Darkness, I wanted to seek out as many local podcasts as I possibly could, but I had the hardest time finding shows based here. I had to do a lot of searching and Googling, and I didn’t have much luck. There are a ton of shows based here and we thought it would be cool to have some sort of alliance to help each other out with cross-promotions and marketing and such. I really don’t believe competition exists with podcasting. I think the more shows we can get out there, the better it will be for all of us in the podcast world. So, very soon we will be launching a local podcast network where it will be easy to find badass shows, and that’s a good place to start. Then ... we take over the world.

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Gavin: Do you have any favorite local shows you listen to or recommend that people check out?

Bastard: Geekshow has always been good, and I think we have some really good shows coming up on our network, such as Steady Diet of Music, Immortal Jewel Podcast, and Vexx’d.

Nimrod: Well, first off, I just have to say hey to Geekshow, because without them we probably wouldn’t exist. Geekshow was the first podcast I ever listened to, I was listening from the beginning and they made me want to have a podcast of my own before our show was even a twinkle in our nutsacks. Then, when we started Outer Darkness and didn’t know what the fuck we were doing or how to do it, I pretty much just copied their shit. Maybe it was uncreative and unoriginal to do that, but Joseph Smith stole the idea for the Book of Mormon, so I felt it only appropriate that we follow in his footsteps. In addition to that, I know Jesus would listen to these shows: Pop Culture Massacre, Salty Horror Podcast, I Am Salt Lake. Thank God I’m Atheist, Mormon Expositor, Soundwaves From The Underground and The Let’s Go Eat Show.

Gavin: Where do you see the medium going both locally and nationally over the next few years?

Bastard: Because technology is making it easy and affordable and other national podcasts such as Joe Rogan, I think you will see thousands of new casts much like what has happened with YouTube.

Nimrod: Podcasting is the motherfucking future! We are living in the “on demand” age and people get to choose what they want to watch and listen to, when they want it, rather than tuning in at certain times to catch a show when it’s on. I think Kevin Smith is unofficially the Godfather of Podcasting right now, and if you look at what he’s doing with his Smodco network, you can see that we are in the early stages of something big happening. And he gives that awesome quote from Wayne Gretzky about how great hockey players skate where the puck is going to be. Kevin Smith thinks podcasting is where the puck is going and I completely agree. I’m super-excited to be a part of this crazy podcasting world, and I see nothing but good things happening with podcasts in the future. Technology has made it so easy to produce shit now that anyone can have a show and talk about whatever they are into, and it's fucking awesome. Everyone has a story to tell, everyone has a voice, so it only makes sense that everyone should plug a mic in and start talking.

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Gavin: What can we expect from all of you and the show over the rest of the year?

Nimrod: We have so many plans for the future, I’m fucking excited for this year. Up to now, we’ve really just been dicking around and getting a feel for all of this, but now we’re ready to move forward and grow this bitch. We have live events planned where we will host parties and do live recordings while Cuervo makes drinks. And we have a bunch of T-shirt designs that kick ass. Cuervo is starting a YouTube channel to do instructional videos on how to make all of his awesome cocktails. We are officially starting a new religion, which will happen later this year. I found out that there are many others who were given Nimrod as their Temple name and I’m on a mission to find them all. I don’t know what we’re going to do once we all find each other, but I can tell you it’s going to be awesome. We are also launching a campaign called Adopt-A-Mormon, but you’ll have to listen to the show for more info on that.

Gavin: Aside from the obvious, is there anything you'd like to promote or plug?

Nimrod: I’d like to promote masturbation. I don’t think it happens enough in Utah, and it’s just a great way to start the day. Also, I’ve been a podcasting whore lately. And since I’m a whore, I will now shamelessly plug the shit I’ve been working on. I was a part of helping a bunch podcasts get up and running last month, and I have a few other shows lined up that I’ll either produce or engineer. Immortal Jewel Podcast will be in the vain of Joe Rogan Experience and hosted by a female psychic; Guinea Kidz is a show hosted by kids, for kids, about animals; Vexx’d is a show covering as many controversial and taboo topics as we can fit into an hour; Salty Horror Podcast with Mario DeAngelis reviews and discusses all things horror related; Steady Diet of Music with Brandon Hobbs will highlight local musicians; and I’m a regular guest on Pop Culture Massacre with Max and Slappy McNuts. I have absolutely no idea where I find the time to do all of this. I’ve been injecting coffee into my veins with a syringe and that seems to help. Porter disappeared, and Bastard doesn’t have anything else to say because he’s too busy licking my balls right now. So... Amen, BEEEOTCH!!!

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