Open Container Update: Super Friends | Buzz Blog

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Open Container Update: Super Friends

Posted By on August 26, 2010, 5:03 PM

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"I got the pistol, so I'll keep the pesos / That seems fair." — The Refreshments, "Banditos"---

More than a year ago, Utah's Super Friends responded to an urgent call to action from their Hall of Justice. Led by Superman, they rushed to the rescue of pinned-down Utahns, who were in a fight for their very existence against the Legion of Doom.

They took their fight to the people, prompting a loud uprising of followers who were mad about everything, including being mad. They shook their fists, they roared their engines, they dumped horse shit on federal highways. And they all rallied under the banner of a group that, despite their hyper-regional name and an acronym that sounds more like a supplement required by the FDA that egg producers routinely overlook, were the infant burps and farts of a soon-to-be powerful force across the nation.

That's right, they were about to become Super Friends: Galactic Guardians. One year later, that group has been about the only consistently strong political movement, outside of the surprisingly focused (considering) medical marijuana activists, led by ... wait for it ... Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. Hell, even this week — as with every good narrative — the supposedly weakened Super Friends defied death (again) and toppled yet another Evil Incumbent, or at least came very close. (The Alaska election is actually going to the absentee ballots, and lawyers are getting involved, so give this some time to resolve itself).

To celebrate their renewed power (warning: PDF), the Super Friends and Friends and Friends of Friends and People Who Want To Be Super Friends' Friends will all ride their Super Vehicles or Super Animals or Semi-Super Non-Motorized Transpods through the streets of Metropolis, following the route that people pretending to be pioneers follow every July 24.

In other news, since this is supposedly a news update:

Free Market Booze: Last week, I bought booze in Wyoming, which has a state-controlled liquor system with private stores. It sucked. Moose Drool was -- not a lie -- $22 per 12-pack. Okay, this was Jackson Hole, but the guy in the store said the state sets their prices. My point? Unless Utah gets completely away from the liquor system -- which will happen when the Legion of Doom takes control of the state -- private stores are not something to get excited about. It will not make booze cheaper. Oh, by the way, the privatization board heard a report about lost revenues and increased drinking in the state cedes complete control of liquor (not just the stores). In free market terms, that translates to "lower prices" and "more convenience." Yeah, bad idea. Utah, please keep controlling my drinking.

Political Races: Dear KUED: It's great the governor has a monthly press conference, and I know there's no script. The questions are asked by reporters. But if Gary Herbert can go on and campaign, Peter Corroon should get equal air time. That's what Herbert did today by responding to Corroon's proposal to "improve education" by claiming Corroon is trying to screw the Mormons and their private, religious education. In response, I suggest that Corroon simply say he didn't address the seminary question because his kids went to a private Catholic school. Trump his Religion Card with a Petty Debate Card.

While Herbert is getting more aggressive in the campaign, I also think he be doing so with an eye towards 2012 because he assumes that this year's race is in the bag. After all, if he were worried about Corroon, would he really start venturing down the Super Friends road and suggesting that repealing the 14th Amendment is a good idea? I'll tell you why, and in two years you can say you heard it here first: He's ogling for a federal seat, and if he decided to run for Rep. Jason Chaffetz's seat when Chaffetz runs against Sen. Orrin Hatch, he could be pretty tough to beat—especially if he starts pushing to repeal Constitutional amendments.

On a side note, Sam Granato has ZERO chance of beating Mike Lee. That's according to the FiveThirtyEight blog, which knows its shizznitt.

Cash For Flunkers: Corroon is actually getting some flak on Twitter today for a proposal similar to last year's Cash for Clunkers program. It seems to have stemmed from this blog post that points out that used cars are now more expensive because of fewer trade-ins, which hurts low-income people more. Of course, the Cash for Clunkers was about getting cars with poor emissions off the road, but the economics can't be ignored. I would also argue, however, that there are fewer trade-ins because people can't afford to buy cars period right now. No buying, no trading.

National Park Cars: Speaking of getting vehicles off the road, New West describes the success of the Glacier National Park shuttle system. In Yellowstone last week, I overheard three different people saying they wished there was a shuttle into Old Faithful. Sometimes, folks, the federal government actually does something right.

Drink Tip: Today's post brought to by Beans & Brews Italian Roast with a shot of Bushmills. However, I steeped the grounds in my French press in the whisky for a few minutes before topping with hot water. A great little trick that I'm proud to have discovered with the help of Google. I'm dubbing it "Josh's Java."

The Open Container Update is published every weekday.

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