Friday, August 20, 2010
Downtown Hepatitis-A Alert
Posted By Brandon Burt on August 20, 2010, 11:38 PM
Yikes! Downtown sandwich lovers should beware of a potential hepatitis-A outbreak originating from the Quiznos on Third South between Main and State.
---According to Valley Health, if you ate a delicious Quiznos sandwich there on Aug. 6 or 7, you should get an injection right away.
If, on the other hand, you ate a delicious Quiznos sandwich there between July 27 and Aug. 5, don't bother with the injection -- it's useless after 14 days.
For those in the unfortunate latter group, I recommend you start putting your affairs in order, because you're likely to be out of commission for several weeks.
Hepatitis-A is a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad virus.
Not that I claim any medical expertise. But I do speak from experience: A couple decades ago, a few friends and I contracted Hepatitis-A from a Dairy Queen. The D.Q. location no longer exists (it's a coffee shop now) but the memory of those three miserable, bedridden weeks lives on.
When the symptoms first hit me, I thought I had the flu. So my first impulse was to administer whisky with lemon juice, honey and hot water.
Whisky is very effective for the flu but, as I discovered, it's a bad idea for hepatitis: The virus had shut down my liver, which rendered my hot toddy more poisonous than medicinal. Forty-five minutes later, I found myself splayed on the bathroom floor, fervently praying in the sincere belief that I was moments from death. I have never felt worse in my life.
Hepatitis-A makes everything change color: The whites of your eyes turn yellow, and your bodily wastes swap their normal hues. It's pretty alarming, actually.%uFFFD
And, to top it off, even after I got well again, doctor's orders were that I couldn't drink any alcohol for a year. I nearly made it the full 12 months, too -- and that was a harrowing enough experience.
The very worst part, though, was when I learned how the virus is transmitted. You know those notices posted in restaurant lavatories that read "Employees must wash hands"? Apparently, after having a bit of a sit-down, some employees don't always follow that instruction. Then they handle the lettuce that's about to go on your sandwich, and that's how people get hepatitis-A.
But try not to think of it, or you'll never eat at a restaurant again.
Anyway, who knows? Maybe the Quiznos guy actually washed his hands. There have been no reported illnesses so far.
We can only keep our fingers crossed.
|
Brandon's Big Gay Blog |
|
On Topic...
-
Film Reviews: New Releases for April 12
Civil War, Escape from Germany, Coup de Chance, Hundreds of Beavers, La Chimera, Sting
- Apr 11, 2024
-
Film Reviews: New Releases for April 5
Monkey Man, The First Omen, Wicked Little Letters, Girls State, Scoop, Exhuma
- Apr 4, 2024
-
Music Plus: March 29
Das Energi Festival headliners, Ogden Twilight lineup
- Mar 29, 2024
- More Brandon's Big Gay Blog » More Culture »
More by Brandon Burt
-
Utah Republican Has Moment of Sanity
Utah GOP's MLK Day Press Release Uncharacteristically Devoid of Deranged Commentary; Concerned Constituents Puzzled
- Jan 18, 2016
-
MLK Day 2016 Celebration Rally & Marade
- Jan 18, 2016
-
This holiday has been brought to you by the letter 'X'
Xmas, Christmas and exotic alphabets
- Dec 23, 2015
- More »
Latest in Buzz Blog
