Star Blecch | Buzz Blog

Monday, May 11, 2009

Star Blecch

Posted By on May 11, 2009, 2:29 PM

  • Pin It
Movie reviews are not my area of expertise but I love movies and couldn't wait to see Star Trek.  I was a huge fan of Star Trek the original with William Shatner as Captain Kirk and the rest of the cast.  I knew it was cheesy and very lo-tech compared to today's sci-if special effects.  I didn't care. It was fun just to watch Shatner "act" and all the silly situations they would get into each episode. Really, most episodes looked like they were filmed in somebody's basement, but they were still fun and entertaining.

I tried to stay with the next generation of Star Trek shows but it just didn't cut it for me and after a while just gave up.  I know there are Trekkies out there who will be outraged with my take on the new movie, but the best I can give it is 2 stars. And I think that is being generous.

For starters, the casting really sucked.  The kid, and I mean kid, they cast as Kirk still has acne and gets beat up by everybody except a girl scout.  OK, there was no girl scout, but if there had been, I'm sure she could have kicked his ass as well. He gets the shit literally kicked out of him by everybody in the movie practically. Maybe this was the director saying, "Well, he can't act, so lets just let everybody in the move beat him up." This "kid" would have had a hard time getting a speaking part in High School Musical.  Then, to make matters worse, the actor they cast as Spock is the same guy who plays the most horrible psycho killer currently on the TV show Heroes, Syler.  As if that wasn't enough, they have Spock acting hornier than any guy on Bachlorette.  Since when did the Vulcan mind-meld start with a lump in his pants?  He spends more time in a lip lock with the communications chick than Brett Michaels in Rock of Love with any of his bus-ho groupies.

The action is good, albeit disjointed and mindless, and the villain wasn't very convincing and almost kind of empathic.  

Now you know why I don't write movie reviews.

About The Author

Tom Barberi

More by Tom Barberi

Latest in Buzz Blog

© 2024 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation