Friday, May 1, 2009
The Great Cottonwood Heights Garbage-Can Caper
Posted By Tom Barberi on May 1, 2009, 7:18 PM
Now I feel like a crime reporter. The "Great Cottonwood Heights Garbage-Can Caper" can be exposed now that the Cottonwood Heights SWAT team is involved. Well, maybe not SWAT, but there are strange things going on out here.
It started a couple of weeks ago, innocently enough. Wednesday is garbage day, so most everybody put their cans on the curb Tuesday. When I went out to fetch my newspaper, I noticed that both my cans, brown garbage and blue recycling, were on the curb. I didn't put them there, and my wife has out of town, so who did? I checked inside the cans, and there were no dead bodies or WMD's--just some garbage bags that were added to my meager contribution to the land fill. The blue can was virtually empty, as I don't recycle much except the ads in the Sunday papers. I digress. I didn't give it much thought until the next week when the same thing happened. I wasn't upset as someone was doing what I would have had to do myself, so I thought, "Thank you, mystery caped crusader of Cottonwood Heights".
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Now, things got weird when my wife returned from her trip and heard a knock at the door to find a C.H. uniformed patrol officer with notepad in hand asking her about strange happenings with garbage cans on our street. I had related in an earlier conversation with her what had happened, so she was not unfamiliar with the story.
What makes this bizarre is our neighbor a couple of houses away apparently called the cops to report that someone had put his cans out on the curb. Why anyone would call the cops over this escapes me but he did. So this officer was only doing his duty trying to investigate the bizarre garbage caper of the neighborhood by going door-to-door asking questions.
I was expecting to see yellow crime-scene tape around my garbage cans. Instead I put a note on the lid saying thanks to whoever it is doing this good deed, and stay away from the moron on the corner who called the cops. I would give anything to hear the 911 call from this dolt and the response. What amazes me is anyone would complain to the cops and they actually responded. Does this make Cottonwood Heights a crime-infested area, and should I stock up on more guns and ammo at the next Crossroads of the West Bullethead gathering at the South Town Mall?
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