Unsexy 2009 | Buzz Blog

Friday, March 27, 2009

Unsexy 2009

Posted By on March 27, 2009, 1:40 PM

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The Boston Phoenix has unveiled the 2009 edition of its inexplicably popular 100 Unsexiest Men list. Wait, it's popularized by blogs, so I'm part of the problem.

But I didn't make the list again this year--it's always a nail-biter around here. Besides, these guys would definitely be ahead of me:

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101. Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon: He's tall, yet still somehow egg-shaped--impressive even for an alien being. Sure, power is sexy ... but only to a point.

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102. The End 101.9's Jimmy Chunga: He's still on The End, right? I wasn't motivated to change my radio preset from 107. Anyway, Chunga's as "sexy" as a promo Paul Blart: Mall Cop T-shirt soaked in rat urine (hey, it happens at radio stations).

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103. Attorney General Mark Shurtleff: If Bob's Big Boy and a mutated pug had a child, Mark Shurtleff would be there to scare the shit out of it. This is a face that says, "The bodies are in a shallow grave off the Interstate ... don't ask how I know."

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104. The Utah Jazz's Kyle Korver: Rocking a tousled Flobee vacuum-attachment haircut, Kyle Korver always has that look of wonderment, or like the Jazz Bear just touched him in a "No!" place. Some say he looks like Ashton Kutcher, but those people wear helmets to Bingo night and listen to The End.

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105. Big Love's Bill Henrickson: Seriously, how does this irregular-bin spud score so much Mormon (or Mormon-ish) tail? Is owning your own home-improvement store and Indian casino that hot? Or is it his throbbing, turgid, Viagra-enhanced ... testimony? Yeah, let's go with that.

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