BYU Basketball is Soft | Buzz Blog

Friday, March 20, 2009

BYU Basketball is Soft

Posted By on March 20, 2009, 8:46 AM

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It's the 20 year old question... Well one of them.

The 1st one is "why don't BYU coeds put out?" The answer of course is, they do.

The 2nd question is "why does BYU suck at sports?" That answer is just as simple. They are soft. S-O-F-T soft. Charmin soft. Pillsbury soft. Kenny G soft. Warm butter soft. Soft like a baby's ass or a tube of Dulcolax for breakfast.

Mushy, gentle, doughy, malleable, mild, subdued, tender, sensitive, lax, forgiving, weak, feeble and finally... NO INTESTINAL FORTITUDE.

You either initiate contact, or you shy away from it. Make something happen or be a bystander. Basketball is a contact sport. Basketball is physical. You either play with cojones or you play without.

That's why BYU gets beat by teams like Texas A&M and makes them look like a badass #1 seed. That's why BYU can't get out of the 1st round of the NCAA Tournament. They don't belong there. The Big Dance is for big boys who wear big boy pants. It's not for players who think "God is on their side." Either play ball or play preacher. But if you're going to play ball... sack up.

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Rebecca Walsh

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