Zeta-Jones Out-Toes Jamie Lee 

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We’ve all heard of road rage, where frustrated motorists flip the bird, attempt to ram anything in their way, or simply pull out their concealed handgun as part of their Second Amendment right to shoot anyone who deserves it. But here’s something most of the American public—outside of the medical community—doesn’t know: There’s a growing epidemic called “Operating Room Rage.”

Here at SmartBomb we take these things very seriously and would not make this up. According to the June issue of the American Journal of Nursing, 92 percent of healthcare workers have witnessed doctors losing their cool. The reported tirades include swearing, calling attention to certain body parts of nurses, and even throwing instruments across the operating room.

It’s something you just don’t think about when you go in for a little liposuction, tummy tuck or quadruple bypass surgery. Imagine, there you are with you chest filleted and the doctor is making unseemly comments about his nurses you-know-whats. And when things aren’t going the way they should, he starts chucking hemostats and scalpels around the room, while swearing at your intestines.

It’s enough to make you put off that Lazik.

• On a lighter note, the geniuses at the Utah Travel Council have named the Legacy Highway as one of the state’s “Scenic Byways.” The staff here at SmartBomb got a real kick out of the designation. Not just because the “byway” hasn’t been built and is in court. And not just because the “byway” would bulldoze right through precious wetlands. No, the real funny part is that they think we dumb Utahns are going to buy that crap. See, it’s funnier than you thought.

• Speaking of good ideas, here’s another one: Salt Lake City is going to introduce “Buckaroos.” No, we’re not talking about cowboys. Buckaroos will be parking tokens—isn’t that cute—that downtown merchants will give to patrons to help them pay for parking. The idea is to get people to come downtown to shop. Unfortunately, the Buckaroos won’t work in Salt Lake City parking meters. There we go getting technical again.

• While we’re on the subject of public relations, here’s some news that’s bound to rock your world, one way or the other: Catherine Zeta-Jones will replace Jamie Lee Curtis as the sex symbol for VoiceStream Wireless. The ubiquitous VoiceStream ads had made the 43-year-old Curtis one of the most plastered-about faces on several continents. But VoiceStream has thrown over the Fish Named Wanda star for the younger Zeta-Jones, who starred in Traffic and recently married 57-year-old Hollywood has-been Michael Douglas. The big question is, does she have better toes than Jamie Lee?

• From our “It’s Who You Know”-file: Utah House Speaker wannabe David Ure is (pardon the expression) pissed off after his friend was fired from UDOT for not passing a drug test. The man failed a urine test when he turned in a cup of water rather than a genuine urine sample. Transportation officials said they would review their drug policy for employees close to those in power.

• And finally from our “Master of the Obvious”-file: A Utah State Prison inmate was found beaten to death overnight in his cell June 14. Investigators say his cellmate is a suspect. Nobody ever said the sleuths at the Department of Corrections weren’t top-notch.

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