When Guns Are Outlawed 

Curses, Foiled Again

When police went to a home in Regina, Saskatchewan, looking for David William McKay, 28, a man matching McKay’s description answered the door but said his name was “Matthew,” which, when asked, he misspelled. The Regina Leader-Post reported police also noticed he had the name “David McKay” tattooed on his back.

A police officer spotted a man at a convenience store in Lebanon, Pa., holding his cap and eyeing the sweatband with a puzzled look. The Lebanon Daily News said that as the man got closer, the officer noticed a small plastic bag stuck to the man’s forehead, pulled it off and asked the man, “Is this what you’re looking for?” Police who booked Cesar Lopez, 29, for possession said sweatbands are common hiding places for drugs.

Not Quite Right

Lynda K. Russell, the district attorney of Shelby County, Texas, plans to defend herself against accusations that she stole money from motorists by using the money she’s accused of stealing to pay for her legal defense. The ACLU of Texas is suing Russell on behalf of the 150 motorists whose property was illegally seized and turned over to a county forfeiture fund. Reason Magazine said Russell used the fund for a Christmas party and tickets to a motorcycle rally, but the ACLU asked the state attorney general to prevent her using the fund for her defense.

    After a surveillance camera in St. Catharines, Ontario, caught James Cedar, 19, masturbating in his neighbors’ backyard while looking through the windows, the perp confessed. Later, Cedar’s lawyer sent the victim a letter threatening legal action for invading her client’s privacy because, Margaret Hoy wrote, “you have installed surveillance cameras which photograph and videotape into my client’s yard and windows.” Victim Patricia Marshall told the Toronto Sun her reaction was “total disbelief.” She explained she installed the infrared camera because she suspected someone was spying on her and her two teenage daughters.

In addition to the threat by Cedar’s lawyer, prosecutor Wally Essert withdrew the original criminal harassment charge against Cedar, informing Marshall that branding Cedar a sexual offender would lessen his chances of developing “normal relationships.”

Second-Amendment Follies

Timothy Allen Davis, 22, told sheriff’s investigators in Lee County, Fla., that he was digging through a drawer looking for a shirt, but when he pulled it out, his .380 semi-automatic handgun flipped in the air, landed and discharged a round. The Fort Myers News-Press reported the bullet hit Davis in the rear end.

When Guns Are Outlawed

Police in Broken Arrow, Okla., charged Decai Liu, 52, with beating his roommate on the head with a harmonica. The roommate explained he was in the bathroom getting ready for work when Liu burst in and started beating him with the musical instrument. “I don’t know what his problem was,” the roommate said.

The Dating Game

A 27-year-old woman told police she was on a first date with Terrance McCoy, 24, at a restaurant in Ferndale, Mich., but when the check came, he said he forgot his wallet in her car and asked for the keys. According to the Associated Press dispatch, McCoy then drove off in her car.

Uniform Disaster

Women draftees in Sweden complained that the brassieres issued by the military are unacceptable because they keep catching on fire. And because the garments aren’t flame resistant, once lit, they can melt onto conscripts’ skin. “Our opinion is that the Swedish Armed Forces should have ordered good, flame-proof underwear,” Paulina Rehbinder of the Swedish Conscription Council said. The Goteborgs- Posten newspaper reported the women also complained that the standard-issue sports bras’ fasteners have a tendency to come undone during vigorous exercise, forcing them to remove all their gear to refasten the brassieres.

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand. Submit items, citing date and source, to P.O. Box 8130, Alexandria VA 22306.

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