Rachel Scott: Buttars could use one. Maybe then he’d finally come out of the closet!
Jesse Fruhwirth: If you gave legislative Republicans cheladas, they’d probably toast—not just applaud—sexy encounters with teenagers. They’re better off sober.
Nick Clark: A chelada easily masks the lingering odor of weed and hooker spit, so ... any of them.
Scott Renshaw: I don’t know that anyone benefits from a chelada, except the lime industry.
Bryan Mannos: We all know Jason Chaffetz is that Mormon friend who vicariously marvels at what beer tastes like ... Go ahead Jason, have one on us!
Dan Nailen: Carl Wimmer, because nothing complements a manly Patrick Henry-lovin’ moustache like the leftovers of a salty rim-job.
Julie Erickson: Chelada? Gross! All of them—give ’em 10!
Bryan Bale: Let’s put ’em all in a big hottub-size chelada. That should keep ‘em out of our hair for a while.
Josh Loftin: Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker, who recently had his bike stolen. He can swap stories with the many City Weekly employees who have also had their bikes stolen over a cold, lime-spiked malt beverage.
Jerre Wroble: In the wake of recent scandals, we can barely count on Republicans to show up to anything. How about it, Democrats? Can you bring the party to the Party? Peter Corroon, that means you.