8. Water the sidewalk and that far corner of lawn every other day.
7. Replace daily eight glasses of water with eight glasses of beer.
6. Or vodka, to avoid side-eye from co-workers and HR.
5. Drain all pools and turn them into skate parks. Or MMA fighting pits.
4. Don't wash any car prior to model year 2014—no one cares.
3. Yellow, let it mellow; brown, flush it down; red, you're probably soon dead, anyway.
2. Xeriscape yards with rocks, desert plants and old iPhone chargers.
1. Shower with significant others, roommates, pets, Mayor Ralph Becker, etc.