Videorama 

Frequency (New Line, PG-13) A mysterious ham radio sends Dennis Quaid back in time to bond with Dad, prevent a murder and catch Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe doing the humpty dance at Motel 6. Special guest appearance by time-travel scientists Mr. Peabody and Sherman. (Released Oct. 31)

Olive the Other Reindeer (Fox, NR) Big-hearted dog Olive (voiced by Drew Barrymore—no jokes, please) embarks on an animated Christmas journey to replace one of Santa’s reindeer, a member of the Reindeer Actors Guild refusing to cross the picket line. Originally titled Olive the Scab Bitch, but changed for obvious reasons. (Oct. 31)

Return to Me (MGM, PG) A waitress (Minnie Driver) receives a life-saving heart transplant from the recently dead wife of a construction engineer who looks suspiciously like David Duchovny (David Duchovny). One year later, they accidentally meet, and weepy romantic hilarity ensues. Chick flick? Driver doesn’t work at Hooters, so, yeah. (Oct. 31)

Thomas & the Magic Railroad (Destination, G) Alec Baldwin battles an evil cabal of diesel locomotives bent on destroying the wetlands between Shining Time Station and Sodor to build a strip mall, and Woody Harrelson supplies his special herbal “magic” for the railroad. (Oct. 31)

Mission: Impossible 2 (Paramount, R) With no plot or characters to get in the way, Tom Cruise and director John Woo unleash the ultra-action and blow up everything in sight; an Evil Supervillain (Dougray Scott) holds the world hostage with a deadly virus; and the Obligatory Hot Girl (Thandie Newton) looks obligatorily hot. Production is currently underway for M:I-3, wherein Woo just comes to your house and slaps you around for $7.50. (Nov. 7)

Titan AE (Fox, PG) Better than Heavy Metal 2000 and waaayyy better than Star Wars: Episode One, this animated epic finds the fate of the human race resting on the shoulders of Matt Damon. And you thought Bush/Gore was a disconcerting proposition. (Nov. 7)

Big Momma’s House (Fox, PG-13) Milking Eddie Murphy’s catalogue for all it’s worth, Martin Lawrence is an FBI agent undercover as the fat granny of the ex-girlfriend (Obligatory Hot Girl Nia Long) of an escaped con. Not as lousy as Murphy’s Nutty Professor II, but he’ll fix that with Big Momma’s House II. (Nov. 14)

Boys & Girls (Dimension, PG-13) Pretty youngsters—and Blair Witch’s Heather Donohue—talk about getting it on and look pretty. Freddie Prinze Jr.’s stellar thespian track record (She’s All That, Wing Commander, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer) still stands. (Nov. 14)

Fantasia 2000 (Disney, G) IMAX update of evil Disney overlord Mickey Mouse’s 1940 headtrip “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” plus several new animated pieces. If your TV screen measures less than two acres across, however, the effect may be lost. (Nov. 14)

God’s Army (Excel, PG) The biggest Mormon missionary movie since Orgazmo finally comes to home video—Utah theater business is expected to drop by 70 percent this week, and you’re getting a copy in your stocking this Christmas. Despite forcibly elicited praise from LDS outlets like the Deseret News and tools like Michael Medved, God’s Army is still a fine indie flick. No, City Weekly has not been sold to The Charch … not yet, anyway. (Nov. 14)

Hamlet (Miramax, R) Live! From New York! It’s … Shakespeare? Ethan Hawke, not the singer from Sugar Ray, is Hamlet—no, wait, there’s more. He’s now a struggling digital filmmaker (is there any other kind?), but dad’s death still needs to be avenged and everyone sticks to the classic text. More hit than miss, but Hawke reciting “to be or not to be” in Blockbuster Video? Puh-leez. (Nov. 14)

The Perfect Storm (Warner Bros., PG-13) Based on Sebastian Junger’s factual bestseller, George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg look dreamy in wet sweaters and two-day stubble as monster CGI waves toss the tiny ship and those brats at Dawson’s Creek swipe the plot. (Nov. 14)

Pokemon: The Movie 2000 (Warner Bros., G) While most adults would rather have battery cables clamped to their nipples while being pistol-whipped by a Teletubby than sit though this crap, the kids seem to like it. If you would like to have battery cables clamped to your nipples while being pistol-whipped by a Teletubby, however, please consult the Personals section. (Nov. 14)

Chicken Run (DreamWorks, G) The best clucking animated movie of 2000—sorry, it had to be coined eventually. Directed by Nick Park (Wallace & Gromit), Chicken Run follows the jailbreak of Ginger and her hen pals from an oppressive chicken farm, aided by allegedly flying rooster Rocky (voiced by Mel Gibson). Come to think of it, Braveheart would have been better in Park animation, too: “They’ll never take … our drumsticks!” (Nov. 21)

Gladiator (DreamWorks, R) Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? Russell Crowe takes a couple of hours out from conquering Dennis Quaid’s wife to open a can of whupus assus on the Roman Empire in Ridley Scott’s over-the-top-of-the-top epic about honor, revenge and comfortable-yet-stylish sandals. (Nov. 21)

X-Men (Fox, PG-13) One of the very few comic-book movies to ever get it right, X-Men is also notable for its racial paranoia subtext, superb action sequences and Famke Janssen’s black-leather catsuits. Especially the catsuits. Oh yes. (Nov. 21)

The In Crowd (Warner Bros., PG-13) What do you get when you put together pretty, unknown actors, a pretty stupid murder plot and a faux-lesbian setup between rival hotties that never pays off? Soft porn that’s neither soft nor porn—good for Provo cable, but little else. (Nov. 28)

The Replacements (Warner Bros., R) The NFL’s on strike, and only Keanu Reeves and his team of misfit scabs can save football! Actually, the movie should have focused on the replacement cheerleader squad (don’t think about it, you’ll just hurt yourself), made up of strippers led by Reeves’ Speed co-star Sandra Bullock … it’s not Sandra Bullock? It’s Brooke Langton? Well, screw this … (Nov. 28)