Eight fun ways to enjoy the Wasatch Front’s worst-in-the-nation air-quality index:
8. Take up smoking. Really, what do you have to lose now?
7. Pretend you’re in romantically overcast London. Or Ninth Circle of Hell.
6. Resume dragging State Street in sweet-ass 1977 Chrysler LeBaron.
5. Stage a “post-apocalyptic” Larping event at Liberty Park: “Knights of Inversiondor.”
4. Start char-grillin’ dead animals like there’s no tomorrow (see number 5).
3. Trade in eco-friendly bicycle for eco-friendly iron lung.
2. Hang out in lovely Park City, hassle locals, reduce property values, etc.
1. Look up investigative news reports on corporate Utah polluters. That’ll kill two minutes.