UTA Perk$ 

8 perks that come with new UTA rate hikes

click to enlarge art17361.jpg

Eight premium perks that come with new Utah Transit Authority rate hikes:

8. Choice of TRAX train scents: Senior Citizen, Hobo Urine or Potpourri.

7. A copy of the real bus schedule, which simply says “We get there when we get there.”

6. Riders who talk loudly to themselves will be paired up to give the appearance of conversation.

5. Complimentary, slightly-mangled copies of last week’s City Weekly—with most of the pages.

4. An extra 30-45 commute minutes to savor the fantasy of murdering your boss today.

3. More intimate physical contact than you’ve had all month. You’re welcome.

2. No more FrontRunner service to Provo. You’re welcome.

1. Lavish, Cribs-style video tours of UTA execs’ mansions on select routes.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

Latest in The Ocho

  • The Gray Agenda

    8 helpful catchphrases for local weathermen to describe Utah's mostly snowless winter
    • Dec 23, 2014
  • Nope for Christmas

    8 excuses for not visiting family over the holidays
    • Dec 17, 2014
  • Text Crimes

    8 texting acronyms every parent should know
    • Dec 10, 2014
  • More »

Comments (4)

Showing 1-4 of 4

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-4 of 4

Add a comment

© 2014 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation