Twinkie is Back! 

8 new changes for the Twinkie, returning to stores July 15

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Eight new changes for the Twinkie, returning to stores July 15:

8. Mascot Twinkie the Kid has been updated to Twinkie the Morbidly Obese Teen.

7. Infused Twinkies to be introduced: Starbucks Mocha, Red Bull, Doritos and Slim Jims.

6. Twinkies will also be available in crouton-size for sprinkling on salads.

5. Smirnoff’s new Twinkie-flavored vodka will be released simultaneously—ask for it at your local State Liquor Store.

4. The shelf life of Twinkies has been extended from 26 days to “at least a few weeks after Obama tanks the country.”

3. The golden sponge cake is now made from recycled couch cushions, thus better for the environment.

2. For a limited time, Twinkie 10-packs will come with a free ounce of Pineapple Express (California, Colorado, Nevada and Oregon only).

1. Twin-packs will come with a free copy of Jay-Z’s new album—whether you want it or not.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

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