True TV | SuperMad: Kath & Kim, Celebrity Rehab, Life, Mad Men, Rock of Love Charm School, The Pick-Up Artist
By Bill Frost @bill_frost
Kath & Kim Thursdays (NBC)
nA couple of weeks ago, The Only TV Column That Matters™ suggested you watch NBC’s version of the Australian comedy Kath & Kim, complete with a green “play” button (to further save you the trouble of reading, not that anyone’s noticed those convenient cheat symbols). That was then; I was too brain-blinded by Selma Blair’s cameltoe-defying short-shorts to notice that K&K is just two funny lines and a sight gag surrounded by 20 minutes of packing filler, blank stares and mall props. Sorry about that—but c’mon: those hot pants are a structural miracle. So … sorry?
Celebrity Rehab Thursday, Oct. 23 (VH1)
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| n | Suit Up n | n
| n | Buck Up n | n
| n | Shut Up n | n
Life Fridays (NBC)
nAnybody watching? Life is a Los Angeles cop procedural with a twist: Charlie Crews (Damian Lewis) is back on the force after serving 12 years for killing his family (he was exonerated—and awarded a few million bucks for his trouble), and he’s as obsessed with Zen and fresh fruit as he is solving his own frame-up murder case. Add his ridiculously gorgeous partner (ridiculously gorgeous Sarah Shahi, channeling Mariska Hargitay’s I’m-not-pretty-I’m-a-cop-damn-it intensity from Law & Order: SVU); subtract new addition Donal Logue (one redhead too many); marvel at how the best network series on Friday night is getting beaten by Numb3rs. Hell, marvel at how anything is getting beaten by Numb3rs.
Mad Men Sunday, Oct. 26 (AMC)
nSeason Finale: The jump from 1960 to ’62 at the beginning of the season turned out to be the least of the Big Changes for Mad Men this year … Yeah, yeah, I know: you’re too cheap for basic cable (but not NetFlix), so you’re waiting for the DVD set and Want! No! Spoilers! Well, suck it: Season 2 has been the payback hangover for the first’s perpetual cocktail hour; the only characters who haven’t seen their candy-colored worlds turn dark are ad agency honcho Roger and mousey-secretary-turned-rising-copywriter Peggy, basking in the good times while Season 1 royalty Don (lost in an existential California crisis and showing no intent on returning to Madison Avenue or unraveling wife Betty) and Joan (inexplicably attached to an insecure, rape-y fiancé) spiral from grace. But, of all this season’s loose ends, the biggest is still: Will AMC strike a new deal with creator Matthew Weiner (!) and the entire cast (!!) of the most critically worshipped series on TV before Season 3 begins shooting? It just wouldn’t seem copacetic watching Mad Men on Spike.
Rock of Love Charm School, The Pick-Up Artist Sundays (VH1)
nNow, I enjoyed the DNA-flinging antics of several dozen diseased skanks over two seasons of Rock of Love as much as the next guy … but who wants to see any more of ’em? Isn’t the selling point of rock chicks that—how do I put this delicately?—they’re as disposable as a used Rite-Aid rubber tossed out of the tour bus window at 3 a.m.? These spunk buckets weren’t meant to earn IMDB credits, VH1—knock it off! Same goes for The Pick-Up Artist; was there such a douche-nozzle vacuum left by Bret Michaels that it could only be filled by a pair of aviator goggles propped up by a lint-trap remnant named “Mystery?” Curse you, Virulent Hosebags 1!
DVD
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n Christmas Caper n
n Because “heartwarming” and “Christmas” are synonymous with “Shannen” and “Doherty” (?), here’s ol’ Tilt-Face with the Yule tale of a criminal with her sister’s kids for the holidays. Apparently, there’s also a “caper.” (FirstLookStudios.com) n
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n Fanny Hill n
n British country girl Fanny Hill (Rebecca Night) becomes an in-demand prostitute in 18th century London and beds numerous men—and yet was still way less of a ’ho than anyone from any given VH1 reality series. Just sayin.’ (AcornMedia.com)n n
n Hell Ride n
n Dennis Hopper, Michael Madsen and Vinnie Jones star in a Quentin Tarantino-produced B-movie about bikers out for revenge and bad women mostly out of their clothes. Doesn’t sound like hell, but Pleasant Jaunt was a lame title. (WeinsteinCo.com)n n
n The L Word: Season 5 n
n Showtime’s lesbian odyssey continues with Tina and Bette reuniting, Jenny making a Lez Girls movie, Shane swearing off sex, Alice making a career as a video blogger, the return of Helena and even more utterly unbelievable shit. (Sho.com)n n n
n Zombie Strippers! n
n Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund star in the most redundantly named horror movie ever, about a secret government virus that infects a Nebraska strip club and turns everyone into undead lap-dancers. Oh, where is Joe Bob Briggs? (Sony.com)
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More New DVD Releases (Oct. 28)
nThe 4400: The Complete Series, Billy the Kid, Eight Miles High, Elite Squad, Hank & Mike, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Kitt Kittredge: An American Girl, NewsRadio: The Complete Series, Red
Listen to Bill Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96’s Radio From Hell. Lap-dancer blogging at BillFrost.tv. Even more True TV linkage at MySpace.com/TrueTV and on Facebook.
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