Trader Joe's is Here! | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Trader Joe's is Here! 

8 reasons for waiting in line for TJ's

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge art16793.jpg

Eight most-cited reasons for waiting in line for the grand opening of Trader Joe’s:

8. Needed something hard-hitting to lead off our noon, 4, 5, 6 and 10 p.m. newscasts.

7. To fill gnawing void in soul after waiting in line for the opening of Whole Foods.

6. Scouting potential sanctuaries for impending zombie and/or Republican apocalypse.

5. To give somebody an earful about not carrying Two-Buck Chuck—have you heard about this?!

4. Need to post the first Yelp review before that stupid FoodieJudy7735.

3. Thought it was an indoor swap meet; have two dozen pairs of irregular pleather pants to unload.

2. To soothe nautical-shopping pangs until someone opens a damned Long John Silver’s around here, already.

1. As a childless urban liberal with a camping chair, what else do I have to do?

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • Fast Frankenfood

    Eight new fast-food innovations coming soon to top Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa:
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • Baby, One Meh Time

    Britney Ever After is cheap and unnecessary; Billions is back.
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • Goodbye, Girls

    Lena Dunham's Girls begins the end; the robots return in Humans.
    • Feb 8, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Fast Frankenfood

    Eight new fast-food innovations coming soon to top Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa:
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • Damned Grammys

    Eight more artists boycotting the 2017 Grammy Awards besides Kanye West, Drake and Justin Bieber:
    • Feb 8, 2017
  • 10 Years of This?

    Eight fun factoids for the 10th anniversary of The Ocho:
    • Feb 1, 2017
  • More »

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • SLC FYI

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015
  • WhiskeyPete Was Here

    8 other suspected "secret" online pseudonyms used by Mayor Ralph Becker's spokesman besides "WhiskeyPete" on The Salt Lake Tribune's website
    • Aug 5, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation