This Just In...Ratings Are Important 

Eight local TV news stories to expect during the last week of May Sweeps.

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8. “Dosey Danger: What every parent should know about underground square-dancing clubs.”

7. “The hot new cosmetic: Is injecting ostrich urine into your forehead safe? We’ll try it at 10.”

6. “Don’t think your teen is ‘sexting’? Our undercover Cyber Reporter has some photos of your daughter you may not want to see.”

5. “Will a new professional lacrosse franchise pack in local sports fans? The answer won’t surprise you in the least.”

4. “R-Rated Rest Homes: The octogenarian swingers’ parties the state won't tell you about.”

3. “Which downtown taco cart is serving rat meat? We’ll tell you, as soon as Amanda can leave the bathroom.”

2. “Feeling Up Fido: Is a local full-release dog-massage service crossing the line?”

1. “Is your home built on a hell-mouth portal that could erupt at any moment? If you’re still with us after the break, probably not.”

Bill Frost:


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