The Ocho 

Eight new rules for local skate parks and skateboarders, from the desk of Sandy Mayor Tom Dolan

Pin It
Favorite

8. “Skate in an orderly, counterclockwise fashion with four wheels on the cement at all times. Square-dance rules apply.nn

7. “No bangs past the eyebrows'they obscure vision, increase the potential for accidents and just look gay.nn

6. “Cigarettes and underwear visible above pants will be confiscated.nn

5. “No ski caps in the summertime. Seriously, it’s 100 degrees outside'what’s wrong with you?nn

4. “Aerial tricks are strictly forbidden; lip tricks only permitted with proof of age and Chapstick.nn

3. “Boarders over 25 will be ejected and referred to Salt Lake County’s new Senior Skate Park facility.nn

2. “The ‘Ollie’ is a tool of Satan and will be dealt with as such.nn

1. “No swearing, yelling, shoving or any other behavior one would normally see on a Major League Soccer field.

Pin It
Favorite

More by Bill Frost

  • Faking News

    Eight ways to spot a “fake news” website
    • Nov 30, 2016
  • 'Toon Under

    Pacific Heat isn't quite Archer; Shut Eye is another Hulu winner.
    • Nov 30, 2016
  • Girls' Town

    Gilmore Girls returns, imperfectly perfect; Incorporated is a slick dystopia.
    • Nov 23, 2016
  • More »

Latest in News

  • Silent Survivors

    A women-only shelter might be insufficient to address needs of sex workers and the crime that often accompanies them.
    • Nov 30, 2016
  • Gauging HB 348

    Some consider penalty reduction bill a silver bullet for much-needed prison reform.
    • Nov 23, 2016
  • Wasted Space

    Lack of canyon restroom facilities brings tainted water issue to light.
    • Nov 23, 2016
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Killing Fields

    Utah pays hunters $500,000 a year to kill coyotes
    • Sep 9, 2015
  • Endless Litigation

    Lawmakers favor $14 million lawsuit against U.S. to gain control of public lands.
    • Dec 10, 2015

© 2016 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation