The Ocho | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

The Ocho 

Eight new rules for local skate parks and skateboarders, from the desk of Sandy Mayor Tom Dolan

Pin It

8. “Skate in an orderly, counterclockwise fashion with four wheels on the cement at all times. Square-dance rules apply.nn

7. “No bangs past the eyebrows'they obscure vision, increase the potential for accidents and just look gay.nn

6. “Cigarettes and underwear visible above pants will be confiscated.nn

5. “No ski caps in the summertime. Seriously, it’s 100 degrees outside'what’s wrong with you?nn

4. “Aerial tricks are strictly forbidden; lip tricks only permitted with proof of age and Chapstick.nn

3. “Boarders over 25 will be ejected and referred to Salt Lake County’s new Senior Skate Park facility.nn

2. “The ‘Ollie’ is a tool of Satan and will be dealt with as such.nn

1. “No swearing, yelling, shoving or any other behavior one would normally see on a Major League Soccer field.

Pin It

More by Bill Frost

  • Bad Hombres

    The Blacklist: Redemption spies hard; Taken is a piss-poor prequel.
    • Feb 22, 2017
  • Outdoor Derailers

    Eight Gov. Gary Herbert-endorsed conventions to replace Utah’s biannual Outdoor Retailer show:
    • Feb 22, 2017
  • Baby, One Meh Time

    Britney Ever After is cheap and unnecessary; Billions is back.
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • More »

Latest in News

  • Tested

    Utah AIDS Foundation continues free clinic in the face of possible funding cuts.
    • Feb 22, 2017
  • The Touhy God

    The hand of the federal government lies heavily on the state's prosecutions of two former AGs on corruption charges.
    • Feb 22, 2017
  • Pinball Wizards

    For many, old-school arcade game sits at the intersection of solace and skill.
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • More »


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Wild and Dead

    Cause of burro deaths a mystery for BLM.
    • Jun 22, 2016
  • Keeping the Faith

    Mormon feminist blog gives younger LDS women a forum to speak out
    • Jul 15, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation