The Ocho 

Eight highlights from the Aug. 12 Real Salt Lake soccer stadium groundbreaking and subsequent game against Real Madrid:

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8. Larry Miller and the Jazz Bear loitering outside the groundbreaking and heckling attendees, à la Jay and Silent Bob.

7. Real Madrid’s David Beckham asking, “So, do I get to keep this golden shovel, mate?” at the groundbreaking.

6. Game announcers boasting there are “absolutely no negatives” in the rushed-through stadium deal. (That one actually did happen.)

5. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (sans Suri) arriving for the game in their Lexus XenuRover hybrid spaceship.

4. Sandy Mayor Tom Dolan is now deep in the throes of postpartum depression.

3. Charlton Heston running through Rice-Eccles Stadium, holding the XanGo Cup aloft and shouting, “Mangosteen is people! It’s people!

2. Minimal hooliganism. What kind of soccer fans are you?

1. RSL owner Dave Checketts’ inspiring “Dreams really can come true for a Mormon millionaire in Utah!” halftime speech.

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