Eight Utah “state works of art” that deserve as much designation as the Spiral Jetty
Lucky 13’s “Big Benny” burger, if size is a qualifier.
Eight campaign slogans for Sen. Orrin Hatch’s run for an eighth term
“To Regularity and Beyond!”
Eight review systems considered to replace Netflix’s 5-star ratings besides Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down.
Would Watch Again Sober/I Watched What?
Eight pros and cons of St. Patrick’s Day in Utah.
Con: President Cheeto will probably have it outlawed by then.
Eight Utah-sourced names for the seven planets of NASA’s recently discovered solar system:
6. Kolob Commons.
Eight Sugar House gentrification headlines from the year 2040.
“High-Rise Apartments Vacant for 20 Years Now Home to Radioactive Zombie Hives”
Eight Gov. Gary Herbert-endorsed conventions to replace Utah’s biannual Outdoor Retailer show:
Find out who wore it best in the annual BroDown Winter Cargo Shorts & Flip-Flops Pageant.
Eight new fast-food innovations coming soon to top Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa:
2. Carl’s Jr.’s Hot Carl Chile Verde 3-Way Burger.
Eight more artists boycotting the 2017 Grammy Awards besides Kanye West, Drake and Justin Bieber:
5. Meghan Trainor (literally disappeared from the planet after winning Best New Artist last year).
Eight fun factoids for the 10th anniversary of The Ocho:
Rumors that The Ocho is crafted by a secret team of writers are false. It would be waaay better.
Eight—you knew this was coming—Alternative Facts:
The planet isn’t getting hotter; outer space is becoming cooler.
Eight hashtags to follow on Inauguration Day for President Donald Trump:
Eight adult films that triggered Utah Sen. Todd Weiler to sue for damages:
8. Bare Rears at Bears Ears: Furry Dudes’ Nature Campout ...
Eight gyms for semi-committed New Year’s Resolutioners in 2017
Pizzatheory Fitness (“All the Slices You Can Lift”)
Eight tired phrases to leave behind in 2016 (and their 2017 replacements):
“Fam” and “Squad” (use instead: “Amalgamate” and “Reich”)