Foul Balls

8 other ill-advised baseball promo themes besides "Caucasian Heritage Night"

Father's Day Clickbait

8 clickbait Father's Day articles to avoid

Winter Isn't Coming

8 spoilers from the upcoming Season 5 finale of Game of Thrones

Get Bikini Ready!

8 foolproof summer shape-up tips
8 foolproof summer shape-up tips

Taco Hell

8 "unhealthy" items soon being removed from fast-food chain menus
8 "unhealthy" items soon being removed from fast-food chain menus

Drinkin' With Herbie

8 reasons Gov. Gary Herbert opposes privatization of Utah's liquor sales
8. The word "privatization" contains more than two syllables ...

Seacrest, Out

8 reasons American Idol has finally been cancelled by Fox
Simon Cowell's mission to destroy the American music industry is complete. His next project: Blowing up the moon ...

Sorry, Mom

8 terrible, terrible Mother's Day cards
8. "Mothers are the glue of the family: Sticky and toxic" ...

Avengers: Age of Ocho-tron

8 Marvel superheroes and supervillians not featured in the new Avengers: Age of Ultron
8. Iron Vegan ...

Hillary vs. Utah

8 presidential candidates who would receive more votes in Utah than Hillary Clinton in 2016
Zombie Reagan ...

Water Works

8 ways for Utahns to preserve water in this low runoff season
8. Water the sidewalk and that far corner of lawn every other day ...

Eat It

8 local restaurants and bars that closed before we could review them
8. The Sausage Trough ...

Obama & Utah

8 reasons President Obama is visiting Utah, according to local talk radio
8. To check on progress of chemtrails re: turning population into Muslims ...

March Ocho-ness

8 college basketball teams that don't actually exist (adjust your NCAA March Madness brackets accordingly)
8. Alabama Evolutionists ...

The Other Bills

8 lesser-known bills passed by the 2015 Utah Legislature
8. Anybody can marry anybody—but only in the presence of the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost and that one Mormon relative who's "cool with it."

Pass on the Paddy's Parade

8 reasons you'll be skipping the St. Patrick's Day parade Saturday
8. Too morning-drunk to participate ...

Snow-Go

8 reminders for Utahns driving in late-winter snow
8. Never use turn signals—they're distracting ...

Kiddie Kops

8 clues that a police-dispatched teenage CUB (Covert Underage Buyer) is in your bar
8. He hands out business cards that say, "Ask me about my affordable entrapment services." ...

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