Eight Sugar House gentrification headlines from the year 2040.
“High-Rise Apartments Vacant for 20 Years Now Home to Radioactive Zombie Hives”
Eight Gov. Gary Herbert-endorsed conventions to replace Utah’s biannual Outdoor Retailer show:
Find out who wore it best in the annual BroDown Winter Cargo Shorts & Flip-Flops Pageant.
Eight new fast-food innovations coming soon to top Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa:
2. Carl’s Jr.’s Hot Carl Chile Verde 3-Way Burger.
Eight more artists boycotting the 2017 Grammy Awards besides Kanye West, Drake and Justin Bieber:
5. Meghan Trainor (literally disappeared from the planet after winning Best New Artist last year).
Eight fun factoids for the 10th anniversary of The Ocho:
Rumors that The Ocho is crafted by a secret team of writers are false. It would be waaay better.
Eight—you knew this was coming—Alternative Facts:
The planet isn’t getting hotter; outer space is becoming cooler.
Eight hashtags to follow on Inauguration Day for President Donald Trump:
Eight adult films that triggered Utah Sen. Todd Weiler to sue for damages:
8. Bare Rears at Bears Ears: Furry Dudes’ Nature Campout ...
Eight gyms for semi-committed New Year’s Resolutioners in 2017
Pizzatheory Fitness (“All the Slices You Can Lift”)
Eight tired phrases to leave behind in 2016 (and their 2017 replacements):
“Fam” and “Squad” (use instead: “Amalgamate” and “Reich”)
Eight last-minute stocking-stuffers for the distraught Democrat in your life:
The West Wing Virtual Reality Experience, with VR glasses and President Jed Bartlet body pillow (Best Buy, $299).
Eight more recount campaigns to come from Jill Stein:
The Best Metal Performance 2017 Grammy nominations (“Korn? Seriously?”)
Eight local stores that went out of business before City Weekly’s Gift Guide was finished.
Voluminous Vixen Plus-Size Lingerie Boutique
Eight ways to spot a “fake news” website
It features ads from dubious entities like “Get Rich Now!” “Russian Brides Are Waiting!” and “The Utah Democratic Party.”
Eight texts to get you out of spending Thanksgiving with your family
“Our popular vote said we’d come, but our electoral vote was a hard no. Sorry!”