Ocho Pioneers

8 2015 Days of '47 slogans passed over in favor of "Pioneers: Forging a New Future"

SLC FYI

8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City

Herbie No Likey

8 other things Gov. Gary Herbert is "disappointed" about besides the Supreme Court's same-sex marriage ruling

Well, Regulated?

8 still-available names for your next militia group
8 still-available names for your next militia group

Foul Balls

8 other ill-advised baseball promo themes besides "Caucasian Heritage Night"
8 other ill-advised baseball promo themes besides "Caucasian Heritage Night"

Father's Day Clickbait

8 clickbait Father's Day articles to avoid
8 clickbait Father's Day articles to avoid

Winter Isn't Coming

8 spoilers from the upcoming Season 5 finale of Game of Thrones
8 spoilers from the upcoming Season 5 finale of Game of Thrones

Get Bikini Ready!

8 foolproof summer shape-up tips
8 foolproof summer shape-up tips

Taco Hell

8 "unhealthy" items soon being removed from fast-food chain menus
8 "unhealthy" items soon being removed from fast-food chain menus

Drinkin' With Herbie

8 reasons Gov. Gary Herbert opposes privatization of Utah's liquor sales
8. The word "privatization" contains more than two syllables ...

Seacrest, Out

8 reasons American Idol has finally been cancelled by Fox
Simon Cowell's mission to destroy the American music industry is complete. His next project: Blowing up the moon ...

Sorry, Mom

8 terrible, terrible Mother's Day cards
8. "Mothers are the glue of the family: Sticky and toxic" ...

Avengers: Age of Ocho-tron

8 Marvel superheroes and supervillians not featured in the new Avengers: Age of Ultron
8. Iron Vegan ...

Hillary vs. Utah

8 presidential candidates who would receive more votes in Utah than Hillary Clinton in 2016
Zombie Reagan ...

Water Works

8 ways for Utahns to preserve water in this low runoff season
8. Water the sidewalk and that far corner of lawn every other day ...

Eat It

8 local restaurants and bars that closed before we could review them
8. The Sausage Trough ...

Obama & Utah

8 reasons President Obama is visiting Utah, according to local talk radio
8. To check on progress of chemtrails re: turning population into Muslims ...

March Ocho-ness

8 college basketball teams that don't actually exist (adjust your NCAA March Madness brackets accordingly)
8. Alabama Evolutionists ...

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