The Ocho | Vote, Utah! 

Pin It
Favorite
click to enlarge art6501widea.jpg


Eight sure-fire tricks to get Utah voters out to the Feb. 5 presidential primaries:

8.
The Jazz Bear shooting voter info pamphlets out of a T-shirt gun.

7. Voting booths placed at the end of buffet lines.

6. Complimentary “Pulling for Polling” massages, sponsored by Ron’s Rub & Tug.

5. Karaoke!

4. Free movie passes to that new Matthew McConaughey/Kate Hudson pile of crap.

3. Every 10th person gets an extra vote for Ron Paul, “Just for the hell of it.”

2. Wii-compatible electronic voting machines.

1. A two-drink minimum.

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • #UpYrTrump

    Eight hashtags to follow on Inauguration Day for President Donald Trump:
    • Jan 18, 2017
  • Double-Down Clown

    Baskets is still weird and wonderful; Beaches ... why?
    • Jan 18, 2017
  • Dinner Pests

    My Kitchen Rules is half-baked; Homeland and Teachers return.
    • Jan 11, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • #UpYrTrump

    Eight hashtags to follow on Inauguration Day for President Donald Trump:
    • Jan 18, 2017
  • The Porn Identity

    Eight adult films that triggered Utah Sen. Todd Weiler to sue for damages:
    • Jan 11, 2017
  • Get Pumped, Bro!

    Eight gyms for semi-committed New Year’s Resolutioners in 2017
    • Jan 4, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • SLC FYI

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015
  • Ocho Pioneers

    8 2015 Days of '47 slogans passed over in favor of "Pioneers: Forging a New Future"
    • Jul 22, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation